I Choose You
by Jianna
Summary: AR fic set in the 6th season. After a biter breakup with Brandon & a summer in NY, Kelly returns to 90210 with Brenda in tow, stirring up scandal & rumors in the process. Several couples BK/DT/SC/BC/DV/DJ/BD & will very roughly follow S6 storyline.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Notes:**

_Greetings my fellow Beverly Hills 90210 fans! I know a lot of you are wondering what on earth I'm doing starting a brand new story when I just had to put two of my stories on hiatus. I'm sorry for that, but it can't be helped at the moment. I've been watching season six and seven and have been feeling inspired to write a latter college fiction, not the stories I've been trying to force myself to write… I still love both of those stories and I swear I will continue them, but I've found that when I force myself to write something I'm not inspired to write, I get extreme writer's block and that would not be a good thing._

_So, I've decided to follow where inspiration leads me and post the story that has been running around in my head for a few months now. The prologue begins at the very end of _Hello Life, Goodbye Beverly Hills. _Thanks to Mel at allexperts dot com, I was able to use the exact same dialogue during Andrea's Peach Pit goodbyes as were used in this episode. I took a little creative liberties, however, and switched the order of a couple of them. Lets see if any of you guys notice who… _

_Also, for the Brenda and Dylan fans out there who might be reading this – remember, this is _my_ version of a season six story, not the actual show, so don't be surprised if Ms. Walsh returns from London faster than fourteen years. _

_Enough of my babbling, insert the usual disclaimers here and ENJOY!_

_Cheers,_

_Jianna _

_- For Courtney… Thank you for encouraging me to follow my heart and ideas through to the end, despite what popular opinion wants me to do. :) _

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**Chapter One**

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Kelly Taylor was hit with an icy yet refreshing blast of air conditioning as she pushed open the door to her long-time favorite diner, The Peach Pit. Though it was only May and summer had not officially hit Southern California yet, the temperature was already over ninety and Kelly suspected that the current heat wave was a foretelling of things to come.

"Kelly! Over here!" Donna Martin's familiar voice rang out across the restaurant. Kelly looked up, smiling at the pretty blonde and giving her a small wave, acknowledging that she had heard her. Donna grinned and then turned back to her conversation with David Silver who was sitting at the table closest to the cash register.

Kelly slowly wove her way through the already crowded diner, heading towards the counter were Nat was standing, chatting casually with a patron Kelly had seen come in several times.

"Hey Nat." She greeted him once there was a break in the conversation. "She here yet?"

"Not yet." Nat informed her, folding his arms against his chest. "But Jesse called about ten minutes ago placing their order. They'll probably be here any minute now."

"Perfect." Kelly stated with a forced smile. When Andrea had first announced she and Jesse would be moving to New Haven, Connecticut, Kelly had been excited for her friend. Though she never spoke of it, Kelly knew Andrea frequently doubted her decision to attend California University over the college she had been dreaming of attending since she was a little girl – Yale. Destiny had given Andrea another opportunity of fulfilling that dream, though, and Kelly was going to miss her terribly – especially all her sound and reasonable advice.

"Kelly!" Donna suddenly materialized at Kelly's side, a wide smile plastered on her already tanned face. "Andrea's going to be here any second now! Come join the rest of us."

Kelly hesitated. She had noticed both Brandon and Dylan the moment she had entered the Peach Pit. Both young men had been watching her carefully, their expressions guarded and their faces emotionless masks. They cautiously avoided each other while pretending that they weren't doing so, and Kelly felt keen pang of regret that she was the cause of the rift between them.

'No more.' She thought to herself. She had woken up that morning with the resolution that she would no longer put off the inevitable. Both men deserved an answer. Kelly only hoped she'd have the strength to be able to give the one she knew needed to be given. Unfortunately, if she did manage that, there would be three broken hearts before the end of the day – not just one.

"You okay, Kel?" Donna noticed Kelly's expression and had placed a comforting hand on Kelly's arm. Her luminous brown eyes filled with sympathy.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Kelly brushed her off, hating the brief flicker of hurt that her reaction caused in those large brown eyes. Since they had heard about Dylan's summer plans for Kelly and Brandon's counter with a marriage proposal, both Donna and Clare had attempted to give her advice on what she should do. Despite their best intentions, though, Kelly knew this was a decision she had to make completely on her own.

"You sure? You look a little pale." Donna pointed out.

"Yeah." Kelly nodded, trying to give Donna a small smile as she firmed her resolve. "I'm uh, well, I'm going to give them their answers today. Right after we see Andrea off."

Donna's eyes widened. "Wow! Really? You are?" Clearly Donna had anticipated Kelly stringing Brandon and Dylan along nearly as long as Dylan had strung Kelly and Brenda along a few short years before. Kelly had hated it when back then, and she was not about to do it to the only men she had ever really loved in her entire life.

"I am." She stated resolutely, meeting Donna's gaze squarely. "I can't keep putting it off. They both deserve an answer."

"So what are you going to do? Who are you going to choose?"

Kelly pursed her lips together, shaking her head slowly. "I think they should hear it first, Donna. But I promise you will be the first person I call after I talk to them. Alright?"

"I better be." Donna stated with mock firmness, then added softly. "Thanks, Kel. You know I'm here's for you if you need me."

"I know you are." Kelly confirmed with a smile.

"And I know you don't really need anyone else's input right now," Donna continued, "But I really think you need to consider the history you have with Dylan. You two have always had an undeniable connection and I think that no matter what goes down today, that connection will always be there."

Kelly frowned, biting down on her tongue to keep from correcting Donna. Despite the many happy memories she and Dylan shared, she had never really believed in the deep connection that Dylan always claimed they had. In Kelly's opinion, her relationship with Dylan had always been based on sexual attraction and conflict, not having some sort of soul tie that connected them.

In addition to having such a shallow basis for a relationship, Kelly had never been able to forget or forgive herself for the way she and Dylan had originally got together. She should never have snuck around with Dylan behind Brenda's back, despite the fact she had always crushed on him. Perhaps if they had gotten together naturally, the way a real couple generally does, things would have been better. But there was no changing the past.

"Kelly?" Donna's voice snapped her out of her reverie and Kelly briefly wondered how long she had zoned out.

"Hum? What was that Don?"

"I was just asking if you were still planning on heading to Palm Springs for the weekend."

"Honestly, I'm not sure." Kelly admitted truthfully. "I suppose a lot of it has to do with how things go today. Plus, Allison wanted to get together for dinner so I'd have to head down late if I go at all."

A strange look flickered across Donna's face, but she quickly masked it before Kelly had a chance to discern what it was. "Alright." The blonde smiled brightly. "Well, if you change your mind, you can always ride with Ray and I. The more the merrier."

"Uh, that's alright, Donna." Kelly quickly declined the invitation. "I prefer having my own car when I'm out of town." Kelly breathed a quick prayer that Donna wouldn't press any further. Kelly didn't know how much longer she'd be able to keep her true feelings for Ray a secret from Donna. Though she had liked Ray at first, lately he had seemed a bit too possessive with Donna and Kelly was concerned for her friend.

Donna had reassured Kelly that everything was fine the one time Kelly had worked up the nerve to ask, but Kelly was still uncertain. Seeing how Ray had reacted to Donna attending Andrea's going away party at West Beverly had been unnerving. Kelly hoped Donna had not gotten herself involved in a relationship she couldn't easily break out of.

"Okay." Donna breezed on, completely oblivious to Kelly's misgivings, "The offer still stands. Just let me know."

"I will." Kelly nodded.

"They just pulled in the parking lot!" Steve announced loudly, interrupting all other conversations. "Places everyone!"

Kelly forced a bright smile on her face, heading over to where the rest of the gang had gathered near the back entrance. She found herself standing between Steve and Brandon, Dylan standing on the other side of the tall blonde. She offered him a brief smile, but he turned his eyes away without even acknowledging her. Kelly grimaced, trying not to let Dylan's reaction bother her.

"Hey, Kel." Brandon's voice pulled her attention away from the depressive brooder. She turned to face him, a soft smile playing on her lips as she struggled to control the wild beating of her heart. She was so desperately in love with Brandon. Saying no to him was going to be even more difficult than breaking Dylan's heart.

"Hi Brandon." She murmured back, allowing herself to inhale the fresh scent of his cologne. She had always preferred his cologne over the musky scent that Dylan wore when he actually opted to put on cologne. "How are your finals going?"

"Great." He informed her with an artificial cheerfulness. "I took my last one yesterday afternoon, actually. How about yours?"

"Done as well." Kelly confirmed, though she suspected Brandon already knew that. They had compared their finals schedules before Dylan had stirred up the whole mess they were currently in. "I just have one last paper that I need to turn in and then I'm officially done with my sophomore year." She grinned proudly. There had been a time in her life where she doubted she would ever make it into college, much less complete two years with a 3.5 grade point average.

"Congrats."

"Same to you." Kelly beamed back, ignoring the fluttering butterflies in her stomach. She would not allow her feelings for Brandon cloud her better judgment. She knew what she had to do, despite how much she knew it would end up hurting him. She just had to remember it was better for all of them. In the long run.

"Here she comes!" David called, and a hushed silence fell over the group. Kelly felt Nat come up behind her, resting his hand on her shoulder as they awaited the little Vasquez family.

"You guys are too much!" Andrea stepped inside the diner, clearly surprised that they had all gathered to send her off.

"Andrea!" Steve grinned down at her, his blue eyes twinkling merrily and Kelly could tell just by looking at him that despite his façade, Andrea's move was really going to affect him.

"Well, ya didn't think we were gonna let you get out of town without saying goodbye, now did ya?" Brandon chuckled from his position next to Kelly.

Andrea stared at Brandon for half a beat, her eyes already beginning to get misty. "How am I supposed to leave?" She murmured almost inaudibly.

"Because you want to, remember?" Kelly interjected softly, trying to meet Andrea's gaze. With finals, juggling both Brandon and Dylan, and everything else that was going on in Kelly's life, she had not been able to spend as much time with Andrea as she had wanted to. She was really going to miss Andrea – and not just for her level-headed advice.

Andrea gave Kelly a weak smile as she sighed. "I never thought it was gonna be this hard." She shifted her daughter from her hip, holding her up to face the semi-circle of people who had gathered around her. "Hey, Hannah, I want you to remember these faces, okay? 'Cause I'm gonna be telling you all the stories of the things we did together. The fun times, all the tears…" She trailed off, her own tears now escaping from the corners of her eyes. "And I want you to tell your children and your children's children."

"Great." Brandon chuckled, attempting to lighten the suddenly heavy mood. "Countless generations are gonna know all our problems." He shot a sideways glance at Kelly but she tried her best to ignore it. Despite the upcoming conversations he knew she must have with both him and Dylan, she wanted to focus on Andrea and her family right now.

"They're all lies, Hannah." Steve was quick to jump in as he rubbed Hannah's head affectionately. "Don't listen to her."

"Steve, you better be nice to me 'cause I have something in that diaper bag that you need _very_ badly." Andrea teased, gesturing for Jesse to hand her the black diaper bag that had been hanging from his shoulder.

"She saved you a dirty diaper!" David quipped and Kelly couldn't help but laugh at her step-brother's attempt at humor.

"No…" Andrea shook her head, as she pulled a thin sheaf of papers out of the bag. "A term paper."

"You did it!" Steve exclaimed in shock and amazement as he snatched up the paper, immediately leafing through it.

"Of course I did. What? You thought I wasn't gonna come through for you?" Andrea challenged, eyeing Steve with an almost dangerous look.

"No, actually." Steve paused, a sheepish smile playing up on his lips. "I took what you said to heart and I did it myself."

"Oh you did?" Andrea seemed surprised, abet pleased. "Well, then I guess we can just throw that away." She made a grab for the papers still in Steve's hands.

Steve shook his head adamantly, laughing. "No! Noooo… Yours may be better."

"_May_ be better?" Brandon challenged causing most everyone to begin to laugh.

"It's thicker…" Steve tested the paper, mentally comparing it to the one he had claimed to have done.

"Here, honey." Nat came up behind Andrea, holding a slim, rectangular-shaped present wrapped in brightly colored paper. "This is for you." He passed her the gift, tears already welling up in his eyes.

Andrea passed her daughter to Hannah in order to accept the present from Nat, wiping at her eyes with the back of her hand as she did so. "Here, go to Daddy." She murmured, then began to tear off the wrapping. "Oh, Nat. You shouldn't have. But you did. It's an old Peach Pit menu."

"Read the inscription." Nat gestured to some writing Kelly had immediately noticed the minute the wrapping paper had slid away.

"'To Andrea – You've always been my favorite dish. Love, Nat.'" Andrea quoted, then turned to give Nat an affectionate hug.

"You'll always have a table here, darling." He whispered in Andrea's ear as he planted a quick kiss against her temple.

"Thank you." Andrea whispered back, the tears brimming in her eyes once again.

"You're welcome." He emphasized, then stepped away, obviously overcome with emotion.

Andrea stared down at the menu for several long seconds as she struggled to regain control herself. "I'm going to miss you guys so much." She whispered. "I want you all to know how much you mean to me."

Andrea set the menu down on the table next to Hannah's diaper bag. She looked up, glancing around her circle of friends, her smile wobbly. She walked up to David, taking his hands in her own. "David. You were the best babysitter Hannah ever had, so you better come visit us. Or she's never gonna forgive me."

"I'll be there." David promised her, pulling her in for an embrace then giving her a peck on the cheek. "Bye."

"Bye." Andrea's voice cracked and Kelly noticed both Brandon and Steve suddenly seemed very interested in the tile pattern of the floor. Kelly felt overwhelmed with emotion as well, but she was not about to let herself break now. She still had something even more difficult than saying goodbye to one of her best friends to do today.

"Donna." Andrea began, moving on from David to the slender blonde standing next to him. "You remember that time at Magic Mountain when we were talking about the 'Wild Ride?'"

"Last two members of the Virgin Club." Donna confirmed, tears unabashedly slipping down her smooth cheeks.

"Well, I took the ride." Andrea cracked a smile, then shooting a sideways glance at Jesse added, "It was a little wilder than I thought. _You_ be proud of your decision. And of your character." She stepped in to give Donna a warm hug.

"Hey, I'm no saint." Donna protested weakly once they broke apart.

"Just the closest thing to one I know." Andrea asserted, fixing Donna with a sharp look. Donna smiled, her cheeks flushing with color prettily as Andrea shifted her attention to the lean young man standing next to Donna.

"Now you, Dylan." Andrea was smiling broadly at him. "_You_ saved my marriage."

"Oh, no. You did that all by yourself. I was just your friend."

"The best." Andrea leaned in, wrapping her arms around him, giving him a quick hug and finishing it with a kiss.

Andrea did a small turn, her eyes falling on Steve, giggling a little. "Steve, what can I say? I love you."

"I love you too, Andrea. I'll miss you." Steve stepped forward, pulling Andrea against his chest and holding there for several lingering seconds. He shot a quick glance at Jesse, then planted a little more than just a friendly kiss on Andrea's lips, a grin cracking his face as he added. "My grades'll miss you."

Andrea chuckled, shaking her head. "I feel like Dorothy leaving Oz…" She looked up, locking gazes with Kelly and suddenly Kelly felt as if her heart had frozen inside her. "And Kelly…" Andrea began, her words broken, full of emotion. "You were with me at the clinic when I made the hardest decision of my life."

"You made the right one." Kelly murmured, taking Andrea's hands in her own and giving them a tight squeeze.

Andrea nodded, glancing over at Hannah who had nodded off, sound asleep against her father's chest. "I know I did." Andrea pulled Kelly in for a hug. Then, after giving Kelly a kiss on the cheek, whispered in her ear, "Go for the brass ring, Kelly. _Marry him_."

Kelly's heart did a flip-flop. She knew Andrea had always supported her relationship with Brandon, but she was the first one to actually vocalize a straight answer to the question Kelly had been asking herself for the past several days. "I'll let you know."

Andrea offered Kelly a hopeful smile, tears now streaming down her cheeks. She tore her gaze away from Kelly's, moving on to Brandon who was also struggling to control himself. "Brandon," Andrea began, her voice strained, "You are my best friend. And you always will be. I'm gonna miss you."

"I'll miss you too." Brandon whispered back, pulling her close and giving her a kiss. "Go get 'em, Chief."

"Hey Andrea," Jesse cut in as Brandon and Andrea's hug lingered. "We better get going."

"Yup." Andrea nodded, pursing her lips together as she stepped away from Brandon. "Gotta go." She then glanced around as if looking for something. "Where's the food?"

"Oh! The food. The food!" Nat raced over to the counter where two brown bags were waiting with Andrea's name written boldly across them with black pen.

"Gotta have the food." Andrea chuckled, eyeing the bags as Nat carried them over. Andrea accepted them from him as the group slowly began to migrate out towards the parking lot, congregating in a small huddle.

"We'll miss you, Andrea." Steve commented, his eyes fixated on their friend. He then quickly glanced over at Jessed, adding with a smile, "Miss you too, Jess."

Everyone murmured their agreement as Jesse began to secure Hannah in her car seat. Kelly found Andrea's eyes on her and they locked gazes for several seconds. Kelly wished she had a few more minutes to speak with Andrea, explain to her what she was intending to do and why, but somehow she realized that even if she did explain her logic, Andrea would probably give her the same advice.

"_Go for the brass ring, Kelly. Marry him."_ Andrea's words echoed in Kelly's mind and Kelly found herself studying the man she had been dating for just over a year now. She was no where near ready for marriage, though she knew she did love Brandon. She was barely twenty-years-old, just finished with her second year of college. She was too young to be thinking about the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.

"Take care of yourself." Jesse's words interrupted Kelly's musings and she was startled to discover Andrea had already gotten in her car, Jesse firmly shutting the door behind her.

"Se ya later, Andrea!" David stated, giving Andrea a small wave, taking a step away from the vehicle.

"Bye…" Donna added. "Love you!"

"Take care, Jess." David wrapped a friendly arm around Donna and the two fell back, making their way towards the diner once again.

"Call me!" Kelly locked gazes with Andrea once again, hoping that Andrea would somehow understand why she was about to do what she was going to do.

"Drive safely, guys." Brandon was beside Kelly as Jesse began to pull away.

"Bye!" Kelly shouted once again, wishing that she could have just fifteen minutes alone with Andrea before she had to go. She watched as the car exited the parking lot, feeling as if a part of her heart was going with it. A single tear escaped her eye and she quickly wiped it away. She would give herself time to cry later that night. Now she needed to be strong. She still had one more thing to do.

"You know," Dylan had come up next to Kelly, his eyes still fixated on the last place they had seen Andrea and Jesse's car. "I didn't think Andrea leaving was going to affect me like this. But I'm really going to miss her."

"Me too." Kelly agreed, turning her gaze away. She, Dylan, and Brandon were the only ones still waiting in the parking lot – almost as if they had all sensed this was the moment. Or perhaps Donna had dropped a few subtle hints.

Sucking in a deep breath of air, Kelly forced a tentative smile on her lips. "Hey, Brandon?"

"Yeah, Kel?" He looked up, his crystalline blue eyes full of more understanding than Kelly thought was possible.

"Um, well, I was kinda hoping I could talk to you and Dylan for a minute." Kelly glanced down, staring at her feet wishing that a hole would open up in the ground and swallow her. Finally, she tore her eyes away from the ground, looking up and directly into Dylan's intense gaze.

"Alright." Dylan studied her thoughtfully, his hazel eyes smoldering. Kelly felt that if she weren't careful, she could quite possibly loose herself forever in those eyes. She could not allow herself to do that.

"Here goes." She murmured, mostly to herself as she shored up her resolve. She pursed her lips together thoughtfully as she pushed her golden blonde hair out of her face. "First, before I give you guys my answer, I want to make it clear that I don't appreciate being put in this position. It wasn't very fair."

Kelly paused for a moment, fixating her gaze on Dylan. "You should have known better, Dylan. You've been in a very similar position as this before. You saw what your choice did to my friendship with Brenda. How could you want the same thing to happen to your friendship with Brandon?"

Dylan had the decency to look away, shame-faced. He cleared his throat, still not able to look at Kelly as he said, "I know, Kel. And I'm sorry. I did think about that, but, well, I love you. I've always loved you."

"You love me?" She repeated, fixing him with a look as she planted her hands on her hips. "You love me? How is it that those words are so easy for you to say now, now that I'm with _Brandon_ but you could never tell me when _we_ were actually together?"

"Kel, I-"

"Don't." She cut him off, surprised by the intensity of her anger she felt towards him at that moment. "Don't make excuses. I _know_ the reason why, even if you won't admit it."

"And why is that?"

"Because," She captured his eyes with her own, holding him there for several seconds. "You and I both know I never really held your heart. You were only mine on loan until your one true love came back into your life."

"What are you talking about?"

"Brenda." She scowled at him. "I'm talking about Brenda. She's the one you really love. She's the one you should have spent the past several months trying to woo. Not me."

"I didn't even know Brenda in my past lives."

Kelly had to bit her tongue to keep from rolling her eyes. "Dylan, you know I don't believe in any of that stuff. I don't know about past lives. All I know is _this_ life and in _this_ life, I know you're still in love with Brenda. And I'm in love with Brandon."

"Kelly-"

"Please, Dylan. Don't start." Kelly reached inside her purse, her fingers brushing up against the small velvet box Brandon had presented to her. She moved past it quickly, finding the slim itinerary Dylan's travel agent had given him, outlining the amazing trip around the world he had planned for them. She quickly pulled the tickets out, pushing them in his direction. "Have fun on your trip, Dylan. But I can't go with you."

Dylan stared down at the proffered tickets, seemingly in disbelief. After several agonizing seconds of silence, Dylan snatched the packet from Kelly's hand, his eyes flashing angrily. "Have a nice life with Brandon, Kelly." He growled low in his throat as he spun around, shooting Brandon a look that Kelly was thankful that she was not on the receiving end of.

"Wait, Dylan. Don't go…" Kelly called after him, but it was too late. Dylan was already halfway to his car and it was clear that even if he had heard Kelly's words he wasn't listening. She watched him go, her heart aching inside her. She wished she could go after him, do a better job of explaining things to him. She wouldn't, though. She knew Dylan would probably misinterpret her actions and she did not want to give him the wrong idea. Again.

Both Kelly and Brandon remained silent as the black Porsche zoomed recklessly out of the parking lot and Kelly breathed a quick prayer that God would send his angles to look after Dylan and protect him – especially from himself. Perhaps someday Dylan would understand why she did what she had done, but she knew that would not be today, or probably any day in the near future.

"You okay?" Brandon had come up alongside Kelly, interlacing his fingers through Kelly's without her even realizing.

"Yeah. I'm fine." She turned to face him, enjoying the sensation of his touch. He had given her the time and space she had asked for the past several days and Kelly had dearly missed the simple feeling of her hand is his own.

"You're crying." He pointed out, brushing away one of her tears with his thumb. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'll be alright, Brandon." She looked down. Telling Dylan no had been the easy part. She swallowed hard, pulling her hand out of Brandon's, hating herself for doing so. She reached inside her purse, wrapping her fingers around the jewelry box that contained the engagement ring Kelly so desperately wished she could put on her finger.

"Why don't I believe you?"

Kelly looked up, smiling bitterly at him, the tears flowing freely down her cheeks now. "Because I'm lying. Because I'm _not_ going to be okay. Not now or probably ever."

Brandon's expression darkened and he took a step away from her. Suddenly Kelly felt cold and very much alone. "Kelly, if you want to go on that trip with Dylan, well, I guess I'll have to understand. But you're going to have to call him right away. Before it's too late."

Kelly shook her head. "No, Brandon. I don't want to go with Dylan. But…" She trailed off, suddenly unable to say the words.

"But what?"

"I-" Kelly began then stopped herself, tightly squeezing her eyes shut.

'_Go for the brass ring, Kelly. Marry him.'_

"You don't want to marry me?" Brandon proposed, his voice full of hurt.

Again, Kelly began to shake her head. She didn't know what she wanted any more. She knew telling Dylan no had been the right thing to do. Fifteen minutes ago she thought telling Brandon no was the right thing to do as well, but now, being here with him, Kelly was no longer certain.

"Brandon," She began, forcing herself to look up and meet his piercing gaze. "You know I love you, don't you?"

Brandon nodded slowly, his expression guarded.

"I think I've always loved you Brandon. Since the first moment I saw you sitting all by yourself at lunch, I knew there was something different, something special about you." Kelly began. "It didn't take me very long to learn just how special. But I knew you were in a completely different orbit than me. You were so amazing, so sweet and so good. And I, well, I was me." She looked down, ashamed of herself. "You were so much better than me and I knew I never stood a chance with you."

"That's not true, Kel. I've never been better than you. We're two completely different people, but you're absolutely amazing. You shouldn't let anyone ever tell you differently – especially yourself."

"Yeah, well, I don't feel too amazing right now." Kelly sniffed. "To be honest, I feel like the lowest form of human being. I should never have allowed Dylan to come between us like that. If I hadn't, then we wouldn't be in this predicament right now."

"What are you talking about?"

"Brandon, I know you only proposed to me as a counter offer to Dylan's trip around the world." Kelly stated with a weary sigh. "You didn't propose because you really wanted to get married. You were in competition with Dylan. And I was the prize."

"It wasn't like that, Kelly. I _do_ want to marry you. You're the only woman I've ever been with that I've been able to imagine spending the rest of my life with. I love you, Kelly." Brandon whispered sincerely and for half a minute Kelly almost believed him.

Kelly closed her eyes, struggling with her emotions. "I can't accept this, Brandon." Kelly reached inside her purse and passed him the engagement ring box. "Not right now. Not for the reasons you asked."

Brandon took the box from her, studying it thoughtfully. He glanced up, giving her a crooked smile. "Yeah, I think I sort of guessed that earlier."

"I'm sorry."

"I am too." Brandon took a step forward, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek. "Despite of what had motivated me to propose; I really do want to marry you, Kelly. I love you."

"I love you too." She whispered, regret filling her. Why had she said no?

'_Go for the brass ring, Kelly! Marry him.'_

"So, where does this leave us?" Brandon asked. "Do we break up?"

"I don't want to." Kelly choked out, her throat constricting painfully. She hadn't even considered the idea that Brandon might want to break up with her if she said no to his marriage proposal. "Just because I don't want to marry you doesn't mean I don't want to be with you."

"I don't know, Kel." Brandon frowned. "Everyone knows I proposed and now they're going to know you turned me down."

"So you'd break up with me for the sake of your wounded pride?" Kelly stared at him in astonishment.

"No. Of course not. It's just, well, Kelly, what do you expect of me?" He paused, his eyes on her, betraying just how deeply she had hurt him by even debating whether to marry him or not. "You said no."

Kelly drew her lips together in a thin line, suddenly feeling ill. He was breaking up with her. Brandon was going to dump her because she had said no. "Wh-what if I say yes now?"

"It doesn't work that way, Kel." Brandon shook his head. "I know you don't really want to marry me."

"I do, Brandon. I do want to marry you." Kelly protested, suddenly realizing it was true. She _did_ want to marry Brandon. Eventually. "Just not right now. We've barely been together a year now. I'm enjoying just being with you. Why make things more complicated?"

"Marriage isn't a complication, Kelly. It's the next logical step. When two people truly love each other, that is." Brandon explained. "Kelly, you've been the longest, best relationship I've ever had. I know I'm in love with you. I know I want to spend the rest of my life with you. But, if you don't feel the same-"

"But I do feel the same, Brandon." She cut him off. "Just not yet. I think it's too soon. We're too young. Besides, what about Dylan?"

"What about Dylan?" Brandon's face clouded over and Kelly regretting bring up her ex-boyfriend again.

"He's upset. He's going to be upset for quite awhile. If I start going around wearing your ring, he's only going to get worse and I'm worried that he'll spiral downward again."

"I'm not going to let _my_ life be dictated by Dylan McKay, Kel." Brandon stated a bit coldly. "If you're going to let him run yours, well, that's your choice. But if you do, you need to know, I'm not going to be a part of it."

Kelly swallowed hard, struggling hard to keep back her tears. She studied the man she knew she loved, wondering if she could really be the woman he seemed to want. "Dylan doesn't run my life, Brandon." She whispered softly. "But I do care about him. You know that. You've _always_ known that. Dylan was one of the first things we discussed when we decided we were going to give this a shot. It's unfair for you to tell me you're breaking up with me because I worry about him."

Brandon sighed wearily. "I'm not breaking up with you."

"You're not? Because it certainly feels like you are." Kelly shot back with more heat than she had originally intended. "You're telling me that you won't be a part of my life if Dylan is. And honestly, Brandon, you know Dylan will always be a part of my life. He's my friend. He's _our _friend. You just do going turning your back on your friend."

"Then he'll always try to sabotage our relationship." Brandon pointed out, and Kelly knew he was probably right. At least until Dylan got over his silly infatuation with her.

"Brandon…" Kelly began, though she didn't even know what she was trying to say. She stared at him, her heart aching and her throat constricting. She knew she was going to loose it any minute now, especially if he kept looking at her with those gorgeous blue eyes filled with so much pain.

"You know what, Kel," Brandon cut it off, shaking his head in frustration. "I'm tired of this. Right now _this_ just isn't working." He gestured with his hand, indicating himself and Kelly. "Maybe we _should_ take some off. Take a break for the summer or whatever. I don't know. Maybe things will make more sense in September."

Kelly stared at Brandon, trying to think of something to say, something that would change his mind. But it was evident that his mind was made up.

"I love you Kelly." Brandon stated suddenly, his eyes piercing into hers. "I mean, I really, really love you. I want to marry you but if you're not ready for that, then I think that maybe we should take a step back for a little while. Maybe reassess our relationship."

Kelly found herself nodding, blinking at the tears that had immediately sprang to her eyes. "I, I guess so." She could not look at him. She had known this would probably happen, she just didn't realize it was going to hurt quite so much.

"Take care of yourself, Kel." Brandon gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. "Have a nice summer."

"You too." Kelly mumbled as she watched him go directly towards his car, hopping inside without even bothering to open the car door. He started up the engine, giving her a small wave before disengaging the parking break and shifting the car into drive. He exited of the Peach Pit parking lot, cautiously looking both ways before pulling out into traffic.

Kelly remained in the parking lot, staring vacantly out into the distance for several minutes before she finally allowed herself to give into the tears that had been threatening to overcome her all day. More than ever, she felt completely alone. Brenda was gone. Andrea was gone. Donna and Clare just didn't understand. And Brandon… She lost him. Maybe for forever.

"Hey you."

Kelly spun around, her heart hammering wildly, taken completely by surprise. "Steve!" She exclaimed, wiping at the tears in a desperate attempt to look like she was in control of herself. "I didn't hear you. You scared the living daylights out of me!"

"Sorry about that, Kel." Steve studied her, his expression filled with more sympathy than someone with no knowledge of what had just transpired should have.

"How long have you been listening?" Kelly inquired directly, not bothering to play games with Steve.

"Long enough." Steve shrugged. "I heard what you said to Dylan. Heard what you tried to tell Brandon. If it helps at all, I'm really sorry."

"Thanks, Steve." Kelly whispered, surprised that his sympathy did alleviate some of the pain, at least for now. She made a failed attempt at a smile as she added. "I knew it was going to be hard for him to hear no, but I didn't think he'd break up with me."

"He really wanted to marry you, Kel." Steve explained. "He asked me if I would be okay with it quite awhile ago."

"What do you mean, 'quite awhile ago?'" Kelly inquired, suddenly feeling quite queasy. "Just how long ago?"

Steve frowned, considering her question. "March. Or maybe early April." He finally answered her. "After that stupid fake documentary of David and Clare's."

"Really?" Kelly's eyes widened as realization dawned on her. Brandon proposing to her and not just been some hasty decision he had made to counter Dylan's offer. He had actually wanted to marry her. "Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure." Steve chuckled. "He was kinda freaking out because he thought I'd be upset or something. You know, given our past."

"Right. Our past." Kelly grimaced. "So what did he tell you? What did you say?"

"Honestly?" Steve stared at her, his blue eyes suddenly reminding her far too much of Brandon's. "Well, he told me that he was in love with you and wanted to marry you, but he wanted to make sure I wouldn't be upset. So I told him I'd be upset if he _didn't_ marry you. I've seen the way you two look at each other. I may not know a whole lot, but I do know you two belong together. I've never seen you happier than when you're with Brandon."

"I am happy. Was happy." Kelly corrected herself sadly.

"Then why give up, Kelly?" Steve challenged her. "You hurt Brandon's pride but he's still in love with you. Give him a little bit of time. He'll come around. Realize how much he needs you in his life."

"But that's just it. What if he realizes he _doesn't_ need me?" Kelly countered.

"Trust me, Kelly. He needs you. Like a fish needs water, Brandon Walsh needs Kelly Taylor." Steve laughed.

"So you think his whole 'take a break' thing is a good idea?"

"Well, Kelly, what other choice do you have in the matter?" He pointed out.

Kelly nodded slowly, realizing he was right. She was no longer the one in control of things. Brandon was. She had missed her opportunity. She had chosen, but she had chosen wrong.

"I should have said yes." She murmured, blinking at the tears in her eyes. "Steve, I should have told him I would marry him. I just thought…"

"I know what you thought, Kel." Steve was suddenly holding her, wrapping his arms tightly around her slim frame. "And it's okay. You didn't know any better. But you do now. Give him some time, Kelly. And have a little faith. If you two are meant to be together, you will be together. Eventually."

"I don't want eventually." Kelly sobbed, trying hard not to wish it was Brandon's strong arms holding her right then instead of Steve's. "I want now. I want him now."

"I know you do, Kel." He comforted her, holding her tight as the sun slowly began to set in the distant, western horizon. "I know you do."

**Author's Notes:**

_Betcha guys never saw that one coming, huh? I was in control of this dialogue and I _still_ had Brandon and Kelly break up. How evil am I? But seriously… If I had kept them together, it would be a rather dull story to read (let alone write!). Originally this story was supposed to be a one-shot and I was going to have Kelly choose Brandon, but it flowed so well this way and with some other ideas I had been having for a S6 story that I had to make it an actual chapter story. So please let me know what you guys thought by clicking that little review button and maybe then I will get the next part up super fast. _

_Cheers,_

_Jianna _


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Notes:**

_Hello everyone! So it's been a really long time since I've updated, huh? Not just this poor baby but all my stories, huh? I'm really sorry about that. My life has gotten fairly chaotic and it takes me for forever to get a chapter written. I just haven't had the time to sit down and write like I did a few months ago. I'm not abandoning my stories, though – at least not this one and The More Things Change. The others are still on hiatus but I have not forgotten them. I just really needed to cut back on how my stories I was writing so I could actually get some of them done. So anyway… Without further ado, here's the second chapter to I Choose You… _

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**Chapter Two**

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Brandon stifled a sleepy yawn as he sat waiting at Willoughby's for Andrea to get out of her mid-morning class. He had already been at the coffee house for at least twenty minutes, and, combined with his jet-lag, waiting in the warm, late June sunlight had made him quite drowsy. It was all he could do to keep awake as he waited, though he knew Andrea wasn't running late. He was the one who had been extra early, worried that he would somehow oversleep their brunch.

Suppressing yet another yawn, Brandon shifted his focus from his half-empty cup of coffee to the young couple seated at a nearby table. Hiding behind his mirrored sunglasses and his anonymity in New Haven, Connecticut, Brandon allowed himself to eavesdrop on their conversation, hoping it would prove interesting enough to keep him awake until Andrea showed up.

"I just don't understand." The young woman, a stunning redhead with the most gorgeous emerald green eyes Brandon had ever seen, was saying. It was obvious she was trying to stay in control of her emotions, but was not doing a very good job. Even from his poor vantage point, Brandon could tell she was on the verge of tears whereas her partner's face was an emotionless mask.

"What's there to understand, Sarah?" He inquired a bit indifferently. "We went out. We had a good time. But it's over now. I'm sorry if you were expecting something a little more long term, but I was upfront with you from the start. I wasn't looking for anything serious."

"It's been six months!" The girl, Sarah, exclaimed, the tears now streaming down her face. "You've met my parents. We had plans to travel together this summer! How can you say this wasn't serious? My mom thought you were going to propose!"

The young man leaned forward on his elbows, offering Sarah a crooked smile. "And who gave your mother that idea, Sarah? It certainly wasn't me."

"I love you." Sarah whispered pathetically and Brandon felt his heart going out to the woman. It was obvious the poor girl had been wasting the last six months of her life on a loser who had thought her as nothing but a roll in the sack, if even that.

"No one ever asked you to fall in love." The man stated somewhat coldly and Brandon felt tempted to get out of his seat and tell the man a thing or two.

"Cameron, please." She choked out between sobs.

"It's over Sarah." He paused, and then added a bit insincerely. "I'm sorry I hurt you." Another pause. "You're just not the one."

Brandon watched with amusement as Sarah grabbed the nearly full glass of water that she had been drinking out of and splashed it in her ex-boyfriend's face. "_You_ are an asshole!" She declared as she leaped to her feet, striding out of the café, notably leaving her former beau with the check.

"Break another heart, Cameron?" A middle-aged waitress inquired as she approached his table. She had obviously been watching the scene unfolding in the small café much the same as Brandon had.

Cameron gave the waitress a laidback, almost flirtatious smile as he offered her small shrug, seemingly unaffected that his entire shirt front was now soaking wet. "Not intentionally. I try to be honest with them upfront, but it still doesn't help when it comes time to breaking up."

"I thought you liked Sarah." The waitress pointed out, and Brandon found himself a little surprised at this revelation. From Cameron's attitude, Brandon had assumed the young man had barely had a passing interest in the woman who had just professed her love to him.

Cameron's expression momentarily fell, though he recovered almost immediately. "I did. I _do_. But I don't have much choice in the matter. My uncle insists that since I've graduated, I need to return to California. Reinvest in the family or some such nonsense."

The waitress nodded sympathetically, though Brandon did not share her views. Despite the man's reasons for dumping his girlfriend, he had done so in a very harsh manner and Brandon imagined Sarah would be nursing her wound for quite some time.

"Hey you." Brandon's attention was jerked away from the scene by the familiar voice of his long-time friend, Andrea. The young woman stood next to his table, beaming down at him, her eyes glowing brightly. "Sorry I'm late."

Brandon rose from his chair, giving Andrea a warm embrace before brushing off her apology. "You're not late. I was early. I'm still a bit jetlagged."

"So wouldn't that mean _you'd_ be the one who was tardy?" Andrea quickly pointed out, slipping easily into the chair opposite Brandon's.

Brandon shrugged, relieved that they were so easily able to fall back into the same casual banter they had shared all through high school and the first couple years of college. Time and distance had not affected their friendship as much as he had feared. "I set my alarm extra early just in case I overslept. Should have known I wouldn't be able to sleep a wink, though. I always have a hard time sleeping in a new place."

"Yeah, me too." Andrea agreed. "It took weeks for my body to get used to the East Coast. It was much easier on Jesse and Hannah. Instead of Hannah being the one waking me up during all hours of the night, it was me who wanted to keep her up." Andrea chuckled good-naturedly.

"Who watches Hannah while you're in class?"

"Yale has an excellent child care program." Andrea supplied. "There's normally a waiting list, but because of Jesse's position, I was able to get her in right away."

"Didn't you try that at California University?"

"Tried and failed." Andrea gave him half a grin. "I never got a good feeling about the center at CU. The feel is completely different here, though. I honestly feel Hannah will get the love and attention she deserves. Plus, the program shares the same building as Jesse, so he's able to drop on her whenever he wants."

"Well, that's good. It seems like New Haven is really working out for you."

"It is." She agreed, a whimsical smile slipping across her lips. "It's really improved Jesse's and my relationship too. I thought we were doomed to be one of those couples that doesn't even make it past year two, but the past couple of months have been glorious. Almost like a second honeymoon."

"I'm really happy to hear that." Brandon forced a tight grin, secretly wishing that his own love life had worked out half as well as Andrea's had. He did not begrudge his friend happiness at all. He just wished Kelly had wanted to share in a similar marital bliss with him.

"You alright, Brandon?" Andrea inquired softly, reaching across the table and taking his hand in her own.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He found himself lying. He had grown accustomed to it since he and Kelly broke up. Everyone kept asking him how he was doing – Steve, Val, even Donna. He hadn't been able to admit how tore up he still was over the split. He had a hunch that Steve suspected, but his friend was not the sort to pry and Brandon preferred it that way.

"You're lying to me." Andrea argued, shaking her head. "I can tell. It's written all over your face. You're thinking about Kelly, aren't you?"

Brandon looked up, meeting Andrea's piercing gaze. Suddenly, he didn't care quite so much if someone saw how vulnerable he was right then. "Yeah, I am." He admitted with a heavy sigh. "I can't help it. I can't get that woman out of my head."

"Or your heart apparently."

He shook his head. "No, I can't. I loved her so much, Andrea. I really thought we were going to spend the rest of our lives together. But apparently Kelly didn't share that dream."

Andrea's brows knitted together in a neat frown. "Are you so sure of that?"

"She told me no, Andrea." Brandon pointed out baldly. "She rejected me."

"She rejected your marriage proposal. She didn't reject _you_."

"It's the same thing, Andrea." Brandon explained to her exasperatedly. "She said no. Or at least to me it's the same thing."

Andrea pursed her lips together, studying him thoughtfully for several long minutes before letting out a weary sigh. "Brandon." She began slowly, obviously putting careful consideration to her words. "I can tell you're still in love with Kelly. And I know for a fact that she's still in love with you. I think it's stupid for you two to remain apart when it's obvious you're miserable without each other."

"That can't be helped now, Andrea. I'm on the East Coast and she's on the West. At least for the summer. The thought of trying to maintain a long distance relationship after our recent history is ludicrous."

Surprised registered on Andrea's face. "When was the last time you talked to Kelly?"

"It's been awhile." Brandon admitted guiltily, the painful memories of their last conversation still close to the surface.

"Awhile?" Andrea challenged. "When was the last time?"

"The week after you left for New Haven." Brandon admitted at least with a defeated sigh. "In Palm Springs. It didn't go well." He paused, grimacing as he recalled the pained and shocked expression on Kelly's face when he accused her of having a thing for Allison. "At all."

"The argument. Now I understand."

"Understand what?"

"I understand what Kelly was talking about." Andrea continued, pushing her once-again curly hair away from her face.

"You talked to Kelly?" Brandon felt an alarming amount of hope surge through him at the mere mention that Kelly had spoken with Andrea about him.

"Yeah, I did. And more often than you, apparently." Andrea shot him an accusing glance. "She calls me every few days or so. The first time she called was after what she explained as a 'blow up' between the two of you, but she wouldn't go into details. I got the feeling that she didn't want to talk bad about you to me."

"What _did_ she say?" Brandon found himself asking, though he didn't really want to know the answer to that question.

"Not much. She said you were drunk and said some pretty hurtful things." She told him simply. "Like I said, not too much detail."

"Oh."

"I'm not going to let you get off that easily, though, Brandon." Andrea stated firmly. "What exactly did you say to Kelly?"

"Honestly, I don't remember all of it." Brandon lied. His stinging words were forever seared in his memory, even as drunk as he was. "I accused her of, well, of preferring women over men."

"You accused her of being a lesbian?"

Brandon nodded, shamefaced. "Yeah. In my drunken state it made sense. She turned down both Dylan and me. What else could I think? Especially after David and Clare showed up in Palm Springs talking about her cozy little dinner with Allison."

"The girl she was with in the fire?" Andrea inquired for clarification.

"Yeah. Same girl." Brandon nodded. "I know now that the dinner was taken completely out of context, but she hurt me, Andrea. I was willing to cling to anything that might make me feel a little bit better about her rejection."

"So you accused her of being a lesbian." Andrea chuckled, shaking her head. "Brandon Walsh. You really are something else. I'm surprised she didn't slap you."

"Well, she didn't. She didn't say anything. She just walked away." Brandon said sadly, not wanting to remember the next part. "I wasn't so drunk that I didn't try and follow her, though. She wasn't too difficult to find. She had gone straight to her room."

"And then what happened?" She prompted.

Brandon sighed. "I knocked and she answered the door. It was clear she had been crying but I didn't care. I pushed my way in and said a lot of things I really regret."

"Like what?"

"Do I really have to say?"

"Yeah. I think you do." Andrea answered, narrowing her eyes slightly. "If not for my sake, for yours. You can't keep carrying this around with you and expect to ever get over it."

"You're right." Brandon admitted, glancing down at his now-cold coffee. "It just sucks because looking back on it sober, I realize what an asshole I was." Suddenly, after reflecting on his own words, the way the stranger had broken up with his girlfriend seemed gentle and kind in comparison.

"Um hum." Andrea did not seem surprised by this revelation.

Brandon closed his eyes, visualizing Kelly's tear-streaked face. Her gorgeous blue eyes filled with more pain that Brandon ever imagined her capable of feeling. It killed him to know that he had been the one to inflict that pain.

"I called her a tease." He began haltingly. "I told her Steve had been right about her. That she was a stuck-up bitch who thought she was better than everyone else. I, uh, well, I then told her that Steve had probably been right about everything else he had always said about her."

Andrea's face paled and Brandon could tell that he had let down his friend almost as much as he had let down himself and Kelly. "You didn't." Andrea whispered.

"I did." Brandon was shocked when he saw a tear splash onto the table in front of him. "And worse. I accused her of deliberately going out and stealing Dylan from Brenda just to break my sister's heart. Even though I know that's not what really happened. I told her that was the kind of person she was. I said something along the lines of her only pretending to care about people, but not really giving a damn about them."

"Oh Brandon. No wonder she was devastated." Andrea looked away, almost as if she could no longer meet his eyes after hearing the cruel things he had said.

"Yeah." Brandon began to feel himself break down. "Everything I said, though, she took it. Not even flinching, just silently crying. At the time it angered me. I wanted to hurt Kelly. Hurt her like she had hurt me. So I told her it was probably a good thing she turned me down."

"And why is that?"

"Because she saved me a life of misery being stuck with a hypocritical slut who is incapable of loving anyone but herself." Brandon paused, Kelly's stricken face just as vivid in his memory as it had been the day those words had fallen off his tongue. "That last one did the trick."

"What did Kelly say?" Andrea inquired with an almost morbid curiosity.

"Nothing. She just stared at me for the longest time. I could tell I hurt her, but she wasn't about to show it. Finally, she asked me to go. So I left."

"And you haven't tried to call her or anything since?" Andrea pressed with her irritating tenacity that Brandon both loathed and loved.

"Once. About a week after Palm Springs." Brandon admitted with a weary sigh. He could still hear Clare's scornful remarks ringing in his ears. "She was out and I somehow doubt she got the message that I had called. I wanted to see her. I wanted to apologize. I didn't want our relationship to end like that."

"And Kelly didn't want it to end at all."

"She had a funny way of showing it when she was gallivanting around with Dylan." Brandon stated in a near-whisper, still nursing the wound.

"Get over yourself Brandon." Andrea suddenly snapped, taking Brandon completely off-guard. "What did you expect? The two of you got together the day after she and Dylan had broken up! Of course there were going to be some residual feelings there. But Kelly does not love Dylan. Not like she loves you."

"Why are you the one telling me this when Kelly is the one who should be?"

"Because you've never given her the opportunity." Andrea rolled her eyes dramatically. "But now _you_ have the opportunity to make things right by Kelly."

"And how is that? Fly back to LA? Give up my internship in Boston?" Brandon spat out sarcastically. "I can't do that. Not if I want to actually get somewhere in journalism."

"Kelly's not in Los Angeles. She's in New York."

"W-What?" Brandon stammered.

"Kelly's summering in New York. She has some modeling gig or something. But really I think she just had to get away from Beverly Hills. She didn't know you were going to be in Boston. Though I guess Val informed her you had left for the summer when she tried calling you last night."

Brandon stared at Andrea, trying to absorb the information she had just given him. Kelly was in New York. She was on the East Coast. Same as him. Kelly was just four short hours away from him. It was inconceivable, and yet, Brandon could tell by the look on Andrea's face that it was the truth.

Suddenly, a hazy conversation he had with his mother while packing for Boston came back to him. Kelly was not the only one staying in New York for the summer. His sister was too. Cindy had mentioned something about her starring in an off-Broadway production, that while Brandon was in the area, he should go see it. Represent the family…

"Brandon? Have I lost you?"

Brandon yanked himself back into the present moment, his emotions in more turmoil than they had been after that weekend in Palm Springs. "No. I'm here. I'm sorry, Andrea. I was just thinking…"

"About…"

"Kelly. Obviously." He smirked. "And Brenda too. You know she's in New York too, don't you?"

"Yeah, she had mentioned that." Andrea gave him a strange look. "She's starring in _John and Jen_, right?"

Brandon nodded absently. "Something like that. I'm thinking that maybe I ought to take my mom up on her suggestion and see Brenda's play."

"And while you're in the area, drop in and check on Kelly?" Andrea inquired hopefully.

"I have no clue how to contact her." Brandon admitted regretfully, doubting that Valerie would have taken any information from Kelly even if Kelly had forced herself to give it to her arch enemy.

"Ah, but I do." Andrea grinned, a gleam in her eye. "In fact," She paused, reaching inside her purse and fishing out a business card. "Here's the name of the hostel she's staying at and the community phone number. I'm sure it wouldn't be too much trouble for you to track her down."

_Author's Notes:_

_If you guys haven't really figured out yet, this story is going to mainly focus on Kelly and Brandon's relationship as well as Brenda and Dylan's, though there are going to be so many pairings going on it might make your head spin. I'm going to keep mostly to those four POV's, though. Maybe occasionally throwing an outside perspective when necessary. The next part will no doubt be a Dylan chapter and then after that Brenda. That will be it for the "summer" parts and then the action will really get started in Chapter 5. All of this stuff has been set up. ;) Anyway… If you enjoyed the chapter (and even if you didn't!) please review and let me know what you think. _

_Cheers,_

_Jianna_


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Notes:**

_Again, sorry for the long delay in updating. Life is still fairly chaotic for me, but I hope you enjoy this chapter. Though I have a hunch some of you might not be too thrilled. Just remember, this is only chapter three. This story has a LOT left in it. _

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**Chapter Three**

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Dylan stared balefully down at his rather tasteless corn flakes, watching as the bluish-white skim milk rapidly turned the once-crunchy cereal into an unrecognizable lump of mush, destroying what little appetite he had. His lack of enthusiasm when it came to eating had worried his mother since his first meal on the island of Lānaʻi. Iris' constant harping had made Dylan begin to second-guess his decision to come to Hawaii in the first place, though it hadn't really been his decision at all.

After leaving Kelly with Brandon in the parking lot of the Peach Pit several weeks ago, Dylan had driven directly to the airport with no particular destination in mind. All he knew was that he was not about to go on the romantic vacation he had so carefully planned for Kelly. Yet at the same time, there was absolutely no way he was going to stick around Beverly Hills to watch the lovebirds plan their wedding.

Upon arriving at the airport, Dylan had gone to the ticket counter and instructed the agent there to book him on the first flight out of California that had an available seat. He hadn't cared where he was going – only that he was escaping the torture of seeing the woman he believed to be his soul mate marry the man that had once been his best friend. God had a strange sense of humor, though. The first flight had been to Hawaii and a whole different type of torture.

"You should eat your breakfast, Dylan." Iris had materialized in the kitchen wearing an elaborate silk robe in an exotic floral print. "You haven't been eating enough. If you continue on like this, none of those expensive new clothes you bought are going to fit you."

Dylan resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Somehow Iris always managed to multitask while pestering him. This time she broached the sore subject of his spendthrift habits with how little he had been eating. Though Dylan could easily justify dropping five thousand to replace the wardrobe he had left behind in Beverly Hills, Iris did not see it that way.

And as far as his eating habits went… Dylan knew he should be eating more. He didn't need his mother nagging about it as well.

"Are you going to be like this all day?" Dylan shot back darkly, silently wishing he could have some sort of relationship with his mother that did not consist of constantly bickering with her over the stupid and pointless things in life.

"Like what?" She arched her eyebrow, eyeing him in such a manner that made him feel like a six-year-old little boy again.

"Like this!" He spat, pushing away from the table and causing his cereal to slosh wildly out of his bowl. "Like you always are. Constantly bugging me about things that really are none of your business."

"You're my son, Dylan. You _are_ my business."

"Not since 1980." Dylan retorted with disgust, though mostly with himself than with Iris. They had had this argument more times than Dylan could keep track of.

"Oh Dylan!" Dylan could tell by the wounded expression in his mother's eyes that though the words had often been repeated, they still had the same impact they had the first time he had thrown them at her.

"Look, maybe coming here was a mistake." Dylan shook his head, wishing he could push the apology that was in his heart out past his lips. "I should go."

"No." Iris said quietly, stepping closer and putting a calming hand on his forearm, her eyes, so like his own, locking with his. "Don't let me drive you away, Dylan. You were meant to be here right now. You need to be here. If not for you, for Erica."

Dylan felt his heart soften a bit at the mention of his little sister. After rescuing Erica from her horrible mother and equally horrible step-father, Dylan had brought the little girl to Hawaii to live with Iris. They had seemed to get along well enough at first and Dylan had returned to Beverly Hills feeling confident his sister was in good hands.

Unfortunately, almost the moment Dylan's plane had touched down on the island, he could tell the shaky relationship that had begun to bud between Iris and Erica had shriveled up and died. The two were constantly bickering and Dylan really regretted leaving his little sister with the woman who was a poor excuse of a mother to him.

"She needs you, Dylan." Iris pressed, as if sensing she had gotten to him by throwing Erica's name into the conversation. "She and I… I don't know what it is. We just can't seem to get along. I thought I would be able to understand a fourteen-year-old little girl better than I could you, but she's a complete stranger to me. I have no clue what I'm doing."

Dylan nodded thoughtfully, asking himself, not for the first time, why he had left Erica with Iris in the first place. Erica needed to be with family and that was something Iris was not.

"She asked me if you would be able to show her and her friend how to surf again today." Iris put in quietly. "She said you were never able to finish your surfing lesson with her in California."

"Yeah. She asked me too." Dylan admitted guiltily. Erica had been begging him to finish teaching her how to surf for over a week now. He had kept putting her off, especially when he learned that one of her friends wanted to learn as well.

Though he and Iris had not managed to have too many conversations that didn't end up in an argument, his mother had mentioned it was under Erica's new friend's influence that his little sister had begun wearing makeup and wearing clothes that Dylan wasn't quite sure he approved of.

"You should take her." Iris prompted. "Spend some time with her. Maybe get to know her friend as well."

"I'm not so sure I _want_ to know Erica's friend." Dylan made a face. "Erica's too young to be worrying about makeup and boys."

"She's fourteen, Dylan." Iris gave him a knowing look. "She's growing up. I just want to make sure she's growing up under the right guidance. And," She added softly. "She won't accept it from me."

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Twenty minutes later, Dylan found himself walking along the sandy shores Manele Bay, one of the most beautiful and best surfing beaches in Hawaii. At least in Dylan's point of view. Though it was an excellent beach for beginners, Dylan had found the waves quite challenging at times when he had come out and visited Iris on previous occasions. He had yet to hit the waves since he his recent arrival in Hawaii, though, and he had a hunch that had something to do with his depression as well.

"Dylan! You made it!" Dylan whirled around at the sound of Erica's voice, struggling to conceal the surprise of seeing his little sister wearing a tiny navy and hunter green bikini that even Donna would have been embarrassed to be seen wearing from registering on his face.

"Hey Erica." He greeted her casually, draping his arm across her shoulders in a vain attempt of hiding a little of her exposed skin. "I told you I'd take you surfing."

"Yeah, but it's been weeks, Dylan. And you haven't even come down to the beach yourself." The younger McKay informed him as she brushed her curly golden brown hair away from her face. The Hawaiian sun had been good to his little sister, tanning her skin and bringing out the brilliant sparkle in her hazel-green eyes. "I thought you were never going to make good on your promise."

"Hey. None of that." Dylan admonished her with a smile. "I'm your big brother. What kind of brother would I be if I didn't keep my promises?"

"Let's not talk about the sort of brother you are." Erica stated dejectedly.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Erica halted in her tracks, turning to face him and Dylan found himself staring at the fourteen-year-old, desperately trying to find some hint of the little girl who had shown up on his doorstep a little over a year and a half ago. He knew she had to be there someplace. She was just buried beneath all the paint.

"You left me here, Dylan." Erica said quietly, her eyes beginning to well up with tears. "You rescued me from Kevin and Suzanne, but then you abandoned me here."

"I-I, uh thought you liked Iris." Dylan stated knowing how lame it sounded. He could barely stand being around his mother for more than a few weeks in a row. Why would Erica be any different?

"Your mom is nice, Dylan." Erica murmured softly. "But she's family. You're all I've got left, Dylan. Can't I come back to California with you?"

Dylan stared at Erica, completely thrown aback by her question. The thought of having Erica live with him had never even crossed his mind. He couldn't be responsible for a fourteen-year-old girl, could he? Would the courts even allow him to have custody of her? Especially with his track record?

"I don't know if I am going back." Dylan responded at last, wishing he had a better answer for her. "I left because things got complicated. I needed to get away. And now that I am, well, I don't know if I want to go back."

"Why not?"

Dylan shrugged, wishing he could put what he was feeling into words. His eyes scanned the distant horizon, searching for some sort of distraction from this conversation. They settled on a stunning young woman wearing a dark pink full-piece swimsuit. She was joyfully playing in the surf, completely unaware that she was being watched. Dylan continued to stare, a smile playing across his lips as a wave crashed over the young woman's head, drenching her and causing her chestnut curls to hang heavily down past her waist.

"It's because of a woman, isn't it?" Erica interrupted his thoughts.

"Huh?" He jerked his gaze away from the lovely woman and back to his little sister. "What was that?"

"Why you won't go back. It's because of a woman. Brenda, right?"

"No…." Dylan drawled out slowly, suddenly wondering just what sort of information Iris had felt necessary to share with his sister. "It's not because of Brenda. She doesn't even live in California any longer. She's in London."

"Kelly then." Erica proposed pragmatically. "You don't want to go back because something happened between you and Kelly."

"I really don't think that's any of your business, Erica." Dylan felt irritable, wishing his sister had not brought up the blonde woman's name. The pain of loosing Brenda was an old pain Dylan was familiar with. The loss of Kelly was far fresher and therefore that much more difficult to deal with.

"So it's Kelly then." Erica shook her head, a bemused smile on her lips. "She's a Virgo, right?"

"Pisces." Dylan corrected her with a frown. "Why?"

"Oh really?" Erica seemed surprised by this. "Iris thought she was a Virgo."

"And just why are you and my mother discussing the astrological sign of my ex-girlfriend?" Dylan challenged, folding his arms against his chest.

"Doesn't matter." Erica brushed him off. "You're a Libra. Libras and Pisces are incompatible. You're incompatible with Virgos too, but that doesn't matter since Kelly's a Pisces."

"You're starting to sound like Iris, Eric." Dylan rolled his eyes. "You should know, I don't believe in any of that crap. According to the Zodiac, I'm incompatible with the only two women I've ever loved."

"Kelly and Brenda." Dylan did not like Erica's smile. "And you wonder why it never worked out with either of them."

"Look, Erica. I really don't need to be lectured about my love life by my little sister." Dylan retorted, running an exasperated hand through his hair. "I came out to the beach today to surf. So let's surf. Where's your friend? Let's get this lesson started."

"Geeze. Sensitive much." Erica huffed, but Dylan chose to let the comment slide. "Toni's over there with the boards." She gestured in the direction of the woman had been checking out earlier.

"Her?" Dylan's eyes widened. "Just how old is your friend?"

"Eighteen." Erica supplied with a shrug. "She's going to college next year. Isn't that cool? We'll both be freshmen together! Sort of."

Dylan's brows knit together in thoughtful concern. It suddenly made sense that Erica wanted to start acting older than she really was. Dylan didn't know how or why this young woman had befriended his little sister, but he could now understand Iris' worry.

"C'mon, Dylan. Toni's been dying to meet you." Erica suddenly latched onto his hand, half dragging him in the direction of her friend. Dylan hesitated, dragging his feet in the sand, but his sister continued to pull, giving him little to no choice. Heaving a weary sigh, Dylan reluctantly followed Erica's lead towards the beautiful woman that he couldn't help but noticing earlier.

"Toni! Toni!" Erica called frantically while they were still a good ways off. "Look who came! It's Dylan!"

Dylan glanced down at his sister, a smile tugging on his lips. Her enthusiasm reminded him more of the young girl he had taken to the carnival a year before than the petulant teenager she had been since his arrival in Hawaii. Perhaps this Toni wasn't the bad influence Iris was so worried about.

"Well hello there, Dylan." Toni greeted him with a warm smile as they approached. She tucked a strand of curly brown hair behind her ear, her cheeks flushed a delicate hue of pink that Dylan couldn't help but find absolutely adorable on her.

"I was beginning to wonder if you really existed. All summer long, Erica's been gushing on about her fabulous older brother from California. She kept saying you were going to come and visit her. I'm happy to see you finally materialized." Toni continued a strange expression in her crystalline-blue eyes.

"Oh, I'm real alright." Dylan stuck out his hand. "Dylan McKay. Erica's older brother, though I didn't know it until about eighteen months ago."

"So I've heard." Toni nodded as she accepted his hand and gave it a quick squeeze. "My name is Antonia. Antonia Marchette. But please, just call me Toni. Only my father calls me Antonia. When anyone else does, I think I must be in trouble."

"Alright. Toni it is." Dylan gave her a tight smile, pushing down the strange, niggling feeling he got in the back of his mind as he heard her name. Why did it sound so familiar to him? Had Erica mentioned Toni before when Dylan had called her? Somehow, Dylan doubted that was it.

"So, Toni… You native to Hawaii?" Dylan drew out her name as he studied her face thoughtfully. As disturbing as it was to him that an eighteen-year-old had befriended a fourteen-year-old, Dylan couldn't help but be drawn to her. She did not strike him as a negative influence. Rather, she reminded him of Donna Martin. Only far more striking.

"Oh, I wish." Toni answered his question with a chuckle. "It's so beautiful here. And peaceful. But no, I'm a California girl. My father and I have been vacationing here for the past several years. We have a suite at the Manele Bay Hotel." She gestured back towards the resort in the distance.

"So you've been coming to Hawaii for years now and you still don't know how to surf?" Dylan studied her doubtfully. Usually taking a surfing lesson or two was the first thing tourists did when they traveled to Hawaii.

"Nope." Toni shook her head, but once again, a weird look flickered in her mysterious eyes. "But Erica tells me you're a fantastic surfer. She said you tried to show her back in California but your lesson was interrupted."

"Yeah. It was." Dylan shot a glance down at Erica whose cheeks had flushed with color. Obviously his sister had not informed Toni the reason they had halted the surfing lesson in order to have a swimming lesson instead. "But I'm here now and the surfing in Hawaii is better than California. So let's have a go at it."

"I've been practicing." Erica announced suddenly, a proud smile on her face. "Or at least trying. And I've been watching some of the other kids."

"Why don't you show Dylan what you've been practicing?" Toni suggested, casting an affectionate smile down at the younger girl.

"Alright." Erica easily agreed. Dylan watched as she selected one of the boards thrown casually in the sand and began to drag it down to the waters edge. She pulled to a stop just short of where the surf would pick up the board and adjusted it in the foam. She turned and gave Dylan a small wave, then dropped down on her stomach, pretending to paddle out.

"She remembers what I taught her." Dylan commented absently, his eyes still on his sister.

"Yeah. She's a quick study." Toni agreed. "She has been practicing, though. A lot. Every morning she comes down here and watches the others surf."

"So how'd you meet her?" Dylan queried, trying to keep his tone neutral. "I mean, I somehow don't see the two of your running in the same circles."

Toni chuckled. "No. Not really. Your sister is a really sweet girl, though. Even if she tries hard not to be."

"What do you mean?"

"Hawaii's been rough on her." Toni folded her arms against her chest, her eyes watching Dylan carefully. "Really rough. Fourteen-year-old girl all alone with a strange woman on an island that isn't exactly friendly to people who aren't natives… Like I said, it's been rough."

Dylan felt himself flush guiltily. He had never even considered how difficult it might be for Erica to transition in Hawaii. She had adapted well in Los Angeles and Dylan had just assumed she would do the same again.

"The day I met Erica," Toni continued as if she had not seen Dylan's dismay at her previous words, "The other kids were making fun of her because she didn't know how to surf. One girl in particular was especially cruel and Erica was crying. She reminded me so much of myself at that age, I couldn't just stand there and watch them pick her apart."

"I had no idea." Dylan felt his heart breaking for his little sister, wishing he had been there that day to protect her from the bullies rather than some stranger. He glanced back towards where Erica was now standing on her board, allowing the waves to lap against her ankles. Physically, she looked like she belonged in Hawaii, but Dylan knew he couldn't leave her here. Not again.

"You wouldn't. You were in California."

Dylan's attention jerked back to Toni, taken aback by her forceful words. "What do you mean by that?" He asked her evenly, forcing himself to remain in control of his temper.

"Just what I said." Toni returned in the same even tone he had used with her. Her eyes narrowed just a bit, her lips drawn together in a firm line. "Erica told me all about you. How she finally met you only a year and a half ago, how you rescued her in Brazil from her wretched step-father and poor excuse for a mother. You sounded like an amazing guy. A fantastic big brother.

"But what I can't understand is why such a great brother would shirk his responsibility and abandoned the little sister he worked so hard to save in Hawaii with a woman who was barely a mother to him?" She stared at him pointedly, expecting an answer.

Dylan closed his eyes, pushing down the red flash of anger he had immediately felt after Toni's accusations. He knew she was right. Looking back on it now, Dylan realized what a poor decision it was to leave Erica with his mother. Iris had admitted she didn't have a clue what to do about Erica. Dylan hated to think of what road Erica may have traveled down if Toni had not shown up and intervened in Erica's life.

"You're right." He admitted at last, reopening his eyes. "I have been a truly horrible brother. Erica _is_ my responsibility and that's a responsibility I'm going to start taking seriously."

"She needs to get out of Hawaii, Dylan." Toni pressed, her blue eyes expressing the urgency to this fact. "I know I haven't known Erica for long, but I can see how differently she acts when she's around me and when she's around kids her own age – the kids she's hoping so desperately to impress. They're no good, Dylan. No good at all."

"I get her away from her. I swear it." Dylan found himself promising. "I know a great lawyer. Gaining guardianship shouldn't be too difficult. She loved Beverly Hills. For Erica, I think I might force myself to like it too."

"Good." The adorable smile found its way back on Toni's face. "That's exactly what I wanted to hear. Now, why don't you go be a good older brother and finish up that surfing lesson Erica's been waiting for over a year for?"

"I think I just might do that." Dylan smiled back at Toni, a strange sensation rushing over him. He refused to let himself dwell on it, though, and quickly turned and ran in the direction of his little sister, peace finally soothing his restless spirit. His life had purpose again, and that purpose was Erica McKay.

**Author's Notes:**

_So hopefully the BD fans aren't too furious with me for introducing Toni like this. I was never the biggest fan of Dylan's deceitful courtship of her, though I always liked him with Toni. I felt she really brought the best out of him, even if I do prefer him with Brenda. Last chapter I said there were only going to be a couple more summer chapters, but I think I'm going to need to hit each of the characters one more time. Next part will be a Brenda chapter, though. Then I'll probably go back full circle and hit Kelly one more time, then Brandon, then Dylan, and then finish up with Brenda again. So Chapter Nine should have our characters back in Beverly Hills and what would normally be the start of season six. _

_Cheers,_

_Jianna_


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Notes:**

_Not much to say here this time. I've been feeling kinda inspired with this story lately so I'm running with it. Don't worry – I will finish up my other stories as well. But I gotta go where the inspiration takes me, right? _

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**Chapter Four**

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**.**

Brenda gazed solemnly at her reflection in the well-lit mirror of her dressing room backstage at the Lamb Theater in New York City. She hardly recognized the woman who stared back at her. Cropped, short black hair, carefully gelled back to make room for the wig she would be donning later for tonight's performance. Heavy makeup designed to make her look younger – six to be precise – again for the performance.

She had already put on her costume, a colorful ensemble that Cindy would have no doubt dressed Brenda in when Brenda was little, though Brenda silently vowed never to dress her own child in such a cutesy outfit. All she needed now was to put on the curly, auburn wig and her transition from Brenda Walsh to six-year-old Jen would be complete. At least physically. She had not even begun her mental preparations yet.

Brenda squeezed her eyes shut tightly, trying to force herself into character. She reviewed the scenes over in her head, mentally recited the lines she had long ago memorized. Playing the part of Jen normally felt like second-nature to Brenda. She knew Jen intimately – from little girl to mother saying goodbye to her son. Jen was a part of Brenda. So why was it that tonight of all night she found herself struggling?

She reopened her eyes, shaking her head slowly. Who was she fooling? Certainly not herself. Brenda knew exactly why she was struggling. Tonight there would be someone in the audience that Brenda wasn't really sure she wanted to see. Kelly freakin' Taylor.

It had been over a year since Brenda had seen the pretty blonde. Up until two weeks ago, they hadn't exchanged a single word since Brenda's final evening in California during what was supposed to be a family-only goodbye dinner that Cindy had made for her. Though Kelly and Brandon had only been seeing each other for a couple weeks at that point, somehow Jim and Cindy had felt Kelly was family enough to merit a dinner invitation. Needless to say, Brenda had not been pleased.

Looking back on it now, Brenda realized it was a bit petty on her part to resent the girl who had once been her best friend. But she and Kelly had been at odds with one another almost longer than they had been friends. Brenda had resented the fact that even before the dust had really settled on Kelly's and Dylan's failed relationship, the blonde had fallen in bed with Brenda's own brother. She felt Brandon deserved better than that. Better than Kelly.

That was why, when Brenda had gotten the call from her mother back in May, telling her that her twin was planning on proposing to Kelly, Brenda had been completely thrown for a loop. The thought of Kelly becoming the sister Brenda had always yearned for had been a terrifying thought. Yet, when she learned, once again through Cindy Walsh, that Kelly had turned down Brandon's proposal, Brenda had been devastated.

Brenda let out a heavy sigh as she picked up her lip brush, dipping it into a pot of waxy mauve lip color. She applied a second coat, pursing her lips together, satisfied with the affect. In just over forty-five minutes, she would be racing backstage to have the mauve color scrubbed off, replaced by a rather tacky red that supposedly made her look older. She loved playing the character of Jen. She just wasn't overly fond of all the costume changes and age transitions she'd have to pull off.

A timid knock sounded at Brenda's dressing room door and she rose to her feet to answer it, already knowing that her understudy, Leiah Carmello, was standing on the other side. Most everyone else working on this production would just barge on in, not caring if Brenda was fully dressed or completely naked.

"Hey, Leiah." She greeted the petite redhead then paused, noticing her friend's arms were full. "Another one?" Brenda swung the door open to allow the older woman entrance. Leiah stepped inside, struggling to carry a large bouquet of black magic roses. Their heady scent immediately filled the room and Brenda inhaled deeply, a silly smile spreading across her lips as she thought of the man who had sent her the roses.

"Put it down with the others?" Leiah inquired and Brenda nodded, gesturing towards a back table that had four other bouquets of black magic roses in various stages of blooming.

"Thanks." Brenda took a step closer to the table as Leiah set the blossoms down. She quickly found the card that came with the roses, sliding her finger beneath the seal to open the envelope. "'For my black magic woman. All my love, Colin.'" She read aloud.

"He's really got it bad, doesn't he?" Leiah commented with a chuckle, taking a seat in front of Brenda's mirror, fiddling with her hair, smoothing it away from her face. "That's what, five bouquets and you've known him how long now?"

"Not long. But it feels like I've known him forever." Brenda replied, tucking Colin's card inside her purse for further study later that evening.

It had been just over four weeks since Brenda had literally bumped into Colin Robbins at The Metropolitan Museum of Art. She had been so enraptured by Kandinsky's version of Utopia that he depicted in _The Garden of Love_ that she had gotten separated from her tour group. A moment of panic had overwhelmed her when she realized she was all alone, lost in the corridors of modern art. She whirled around, colliding with Colin who had come up behind her, intending on studying Kandinsky's painting himself.

Brenda had basically bounced off Colin, falling to the ground, her purse and belongings scattering everywhere. Colin had been a perfect gentleman, first helping Brenda to her feet then assisting her gather her things that had gone all over the corridor. By the time they had found everything – though Brenda was still missing one of her favorite lip glosses – Brenda knew there was no hope of catching up with her tour group.

Noting how upset Brenda was, Colin had offered to complete the tour himself. One thing had led to another and, after what Brenda was sure was a far superior tour than those who had remained with the group received, Brenda found herself having coffee with Colin at a quaint little coffee shop near Central Park. Though Brenda had never been an art enthusiast, she had been in complete rapture listening to Colin gush on about the various works of art he had shown Brenda during her private tour. She had known even before he told her that Colin had to be an artist. He had an artist's soul – something Brenda felt akin to.

"We're taking things slow, though." Brenda shook her head, breaking her thoughts back into the present moment. She noticed Leiah's goofy smile and realized she must have been daydreaming longer than she realized.

"Slow, huh?"

"Well, trying to, at least." Brenda felt her cheeks flush with color. She always tended to fall really hard, really fast but she couldn't afford to do so this time. She knew she didn't have the strength to pick herself back up after things didn't work out.

"That's good. It's really nice to see you smiling." Leiah affirmed, flashing Brenda yet another white-toothed smile. "Colin's a really sweet guy. He really knows how to spoil a woman. Unlike that Dylan character you were telling me about."

Brenda made a face, trying to ignore the twinge of pain that the mention of Dylan's name brought. "Dylan wasn't perfect. But he knew how to make me feel special. Even if it wasn't with bouquets of roses."

"Oh, I see we're being Sentimental Brenda tonight. Why is it this time? Another drunken message?" Leiah teased as she rose to her feet and picked up the wig Brenda would be wearing a little later. She fluffed the waves gently and Brenda couldn't help but think Leiah looked a far more believable Jen than she did.

"No. No messages." Brenda pursed her lips together in a thin line as she recalled the handful of phone calls she had received from Dylan while she was in London. Because of the time difference, she had never actually been there to accept one of the calls, but he had left messages. Long, incoherent messages that made Brenda want to weep.

After the fourth such message, Brenda had finally broken down and called Brandon, asking him what was going on with Dylan. That was when she learned about Dylan's descent into drugs and alcohol. Brandon was extremely worried about Dylan and had encouraged Brenda to call him, thinking that perhaps she could get through to him where none of the others who tried were able to.

Brenda had called once. She had timed it just right, knowing that even if Dylan were hung over, he'd probably be awake enough to answer the call. Unfortunately, Dylan had not been the one to answer the phone. A woman had. And even though Brenda had hung up almost instantly, she would have recognized the voice anywhere. Valerie.

A shiver raced down Brenda's spine as she thought of the girl who had been like a sister to her all growing up. Even after Valerie had moved to Buffalo, they had remained close. It was only after the Walshes moved to Beverly Hills that a distance had begun to form between them, though Brenda had done her best to maintain their friendship.

Brenda had written Valerie every other week or so, updating the brunette on her life and the lives of her friends around her. Valerie had been almost like a journal for Brenda. She confessed thoughts and feelings to her friend that she wouldn't have dreamed of actually telling a single soul. Never in her wildest imaginations had she thought that Valerie would one day move to Beverly Hills and live amongst those friends that Brenda had shared to Valerie her most private of thoughts and emotions about.

After hearing Valerie's voice on the other end of Dylan's phone, Brenda had been beside herself. She had tried to assume the best, thinking that her friend was just checking in on Dylan. There was no way Valerie would actually go after Dylan. Valerie was supposed to be Brenda's truest friend. But one quick phone call to Cindy had confirmed Brenda's worst fears. Valerie and Dylan were involved in some sort of relationship, though Cindy would not delve into the exact details. Cindy probably thought she was sparing Brenda some pain, but really, her mother was just allowing Brenda's over-active imagination to make up the details.

"Brenda, are you alright?" Leiah's voice suddenly brought Brenda back to the present once again. "You seem really out of it."

"Yeah, I'm fine." Brenda brushed off Leiah's concern, fingering one of the lovely roses. She could not wait till after the performance. Colin had promised to take Brenda to Olana, a gorgeous restaurant close to the Lamb Theater that Brenda had amazing things about. She was planning on inviting Kelly to come along as well, not wanting to leave her friend alone in New York City at night.

"Nervous about tonight?" Leiah prodded and Brenda tried to ignore the eager gleam in her friend's eyes.

"A little." Brenda admitted, walking over to her chair and gesturing for Leiah to move out. As brilliant of an actress as Leiah was, Brenda needed her to remember that she was only the understudy. "My friend from back home is going to be here tonight."

"Oh really?" Leiah arched an inquisitive eyebrow. "Which one?"

"Kelly." Brenda replied simply, not providing any further information. She had never actually discussed Kelly and their complicated friendship with Leiah and she definitely did not want Leiah to pry right now. Not in the mood Brenda was in. She was likely to spill everything if she weren't careful.

"Kelly, huh? The pretty blonde, right?" Leiah pointed the framed photograph of Brenda's friends that was sitting at the vanity. It was a stunning picture of Kelly and Brenda couldn't help but wish the blonde didn't look quite so good in red.

"Yeah, that's her."

"She's hot." Leiah grinned.

"Hands off, Lee." Brenda's eyes narrowed. "Kelly's straight. Plus, she was dating my brother. They were practically engaged."

"Interesting." Leiah did not seem daunted. "You'll have to introduce me to her. I'm sure I could convince her to give the other side a try."

"Uh, I don't think so." Brenda shook her head.

"You never know."

"I know." Brenda stated firmly. "Now, help me with the wig. The show starts in ten minutes and I wanted to run my lines a couple times in full-costume."

"You're the boss." Leiah returned, though there was a slight hint of bitterness in her tone causing Brenda to wonder just how much she should be depending on this woman who would probably give anything for Brenda to screw up and be dropped from the play.

She quickly pushed her worries aside, closing her eyes and allowing herself to slip into Jen's character as she felt Leiah adjust the wig on her head. In comparison to Jen's problems, Brenda's life was cake. Brenda just needed to make sure she remembered that after the curtain closed.

**.**

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**.**

Brenda's play was about to begin and once again, Kelly found herself running late. She thought that this time she had finally timed something right, allotting herself nearly a full hour to make it from the Gershwin Hotel on East 27th to the Lamb Theater on West 44th. It was less than a two mile trip in a taxi and normally Kelly would have opted to walk, but she had wanted to wear some amazing three inch heels that went perfectly with the slinky yet not too sexy black dress she had picked out for tonight. There was no way she or her shoes would survive that trek.

Kelly's careful preparations were laid to waste when she found herself stuck in complete gridlock in Times Square and once again Kelly had to remind herself that New York City traffic was a completely different beast than Los Angeles traffic. Kelly knew if she didn't get out of the taxi now, she would no doubt be late for Brenda's performance and it was not likely she would gain admittance if she were.

Reaching down to unbuckle the strap of her shoe with one hand, Kelly used the other to knock on the filthy Plexiglas that separated her from the cabbie. "Excuse me." She called loudly. "I'd like to get out here."

"Smart move." The man chuckled, sliding the window open for Kelly to pass her fare through. "The Lamb is just around the corner. You should make it just fine."

"I hope so." Kelly grimaced, passing him a twenty before getting out of the vehicle. She gripped her handbag tightly in one hand, her shoes in the other, as she quickly navigated through the practically parked cars towards the equally crowded sidewalk, tiptoeing as much as possible so as to keep the soles of her feet from getting too terribly dirty.

She glanced up at the huge clock in the Square, noting that she had just under ten minutes before Brenda's play would begin. She sincerely hoped she'd make it. Beyond wanting to see Brenda's performance, Kelly had done a little research on _John and Jen_ and it sounded like a fascinating play that had been getting rave reviews.

Kelly quickly darted in and out of people, mumbling apologies as she jostled past them. No one seemed to notice, each individual's face set and intent on making it to their own destinations on time. As amazing as New York City was, Kelly would be glad to get back to Beverly Hills where, even if they didn't greet you, people actually acknowledged your existence every now and again.

With three minutes to spare, Kelly found herself in front of the Lamb Theater, a few other late comers quickly slipping past the large mahogany doors. Kelly paused for just a moment, slipping her feet back inside her heels, not bothering with the straps. She fished her ticket out of her purse, plastering a cheerful smile on her face as she approached the usher.

"Good evening, Miss." The young man greeted her with a bright smile. "You just made it. We were about to close the doors."

"Well, I'm glad you hadn't closed the doors _yet_." Kelly chuckled, taking the stub back from him and slipping it inside her purse. "I had to run to make it, though."

The man nodded his understanding, turning his attention to the final late comer who had approached the theater seconds after Kelly. "Good evening. Here to see Brenda again?"

"Sure am." The man replied. "I believe she left me a ticket."

"She always does." The usher chuckled. "Go on inside, Colin. I'm about to close up."

"Thanks, Tom." The man named Colin replied.

Kelly glanced over her shoulder, her curiosity getting the best of her. The man named Colin obviously knew Brenda, though her friend had not mentioned anyone special during their phone conversation the other week. Not that Kelly really expected to be privy to Brenda's life and relationships any longer. She had allowed far too much time to pass before she called Brenda, and she really regretted that.

Kelly's first impression of Colin was that he was probably one of the better looking men she had seen since arriving in New York. His hair was neatly trimmed and he was clean shaven, showing off a well-formed jaw and rather sexy mouth and lips. He was dressed in a dark suit that fit him exceptionally well and Kelly saw that Brenda's exceptional taste in men had definitely not changed since she traveled across the pond.

"Hi there." Colin greeted Kelly with a wary smile, obviously noting her careful study. "Do I know you?"

"No." Kelly replied coyly, unable to help herself. "But we evidently share a common friend."

"And who would that be?" Colin inquired with a thoughtful frown.

"Brenda Walsh." Kelly shifted gears immediately, forcing herself to recall that though Colin may be incredibly good looking, he probably had some sort of relationship going on with Brenda and Kelly was not about to get involved in something messy like that again. "She and I were best friends in high school."

"Ah ha." Colin's eyes lit up at the mention of Brenda's name, his expression softening into a friendly smile. "So that would make you Kelly Taylor or Donna Martin, correct?"

"Kelly." She stuck out her hand in greeting. "And you are…"

"Colin Robbins." He had a good grip – not too firm but just enough measured strength to impress Kelly. He also had incredibly soft hands and manicured nails. Impressive.

"It's very nice to meet you, Colin." Kelly smiled. "I'd love to stay and talk, but the play is no doubt about to begin and I don't have a clue where my seat is."

"I've been here dozens of times. Let me see your ticket. I can probably point you in the right direction."

Kelly nodded, passing him her stub quickly, noting that the usher who had been so friendly to Colin earlier was now looking a tad annoyed with them for lingering in the lobby.

Colin studied her ticket for a split second, a wide smile spreading across his lips. "You're right next to me. Brenda must have reserved the ticket for you, huh?"

"She did." Kelly returned. "How'd you know?"

"Brenda always reserves two tickets for every performance." Colin explained. "One for me and one in the hopes of her brother coming to see her perform."

"Brandon?" Kelly felt her heart suddenly twist tightly in her chest. She was trying to forget about Brandon this summer, not constantly be dealt reminders of their painful breakup.

"Yeah. Brandon." Colin's eyes flickered with compassion and Kelly could tell that Colin knew about her and Brandon's falling out. "He's in Boston for the summer. You knew that, didn't you?"

Kelly shook her head, pursing her lips together in a thing line. Now Val's gloating response when Kelly had tried to call Brandon to let him know she was in New York made sense. Val had chuckled when she told Kelly that she had just missed Brandon but she'd be sure to pass on the message the next time she saw him.

"Come on. Let's go inside." Colin took Kelly by the arm and led her inside the already darkened theater. "Don't let Brandon Walsh get you down. Don't let him win."

Kelly shot him a curious glance, but silently obeyed, allowing him to lead her down to where their seats where – direct center, three rows back from the stage. They were the perfect seats, but Kelly couldn't help but allow her mind to linger on the young man who was supposed to be sitting in this chair.

_Oh Brandon._ Kelly thought silently to herself, blinking at the tears that had begun to form in the corner of her eyes. _How am I going to forget you?_

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Brenda smoothed her hand over her now stick-straight rust-colored wig, enjoying being eighteen-year-old Jen far more than six-year-old Jen. Gone were the loud prints of childhood, replaced by long, flowing skirts and a peasant-style top paired with bangles, a headband, and chunky clogs that Brenda assumed were supposed to make her look like the stereotypical hippie. Brenda did not mind the costume at all, though she far preferred the jeans and button-down blouse that she got to wear as forty-four Jen.

She waited patiently in the darkness just offstage, awaiting her cue. From her vantage point she could see directly into the audience and was pleased to see both Colin and Kelly, both completely wrapped up in the play and her co-star, Justin Ludwig's performance. She watched as Kelly leaned close to Colin, whispering something to him and he nodded, making a quick gesture in Brenda's direction.

As Justin sang his last frame, Brenda quickly shifted gears, closing her eyes for a brief second then stepping out onto the stage, the warm spotlight hitting her square in the face. She began to sing the lyrics to _Hold Down the Fort_, the music surrounding her, and Brenda lost herself in the moment, allowing her voice to sing out loud and clear, filling the entire auditorium.

Brenda's voice stilled and as the orchestra played the final note, Justin approached her, teenaged John, moody and sulky. He recited his lines perfectly, with far more emotion that Brenda could ever hope to capture. He accused her of refusing to live up to her promise to him, to always be there and stay with him and Brenda nearly believed he was actually address her, not his fictional older sister.

Hoping to achieve the same level as Justin, Brenda channeled all her own pent up anger and frustration as she exploded, "I thought you of all people understood how badly I gotta get out of here!" She paused, admiration flickering in Justin's eyes for a brief moment.

Brenda forced herself not to smile as she continued her line, "I can't hold your hand forever! Grow up!"

She quickly spun on her heel, her auburn wig whipping wildly behind her as she stomped towards stage left where she would make her exit. Out of the corner of her eye she spied Lieah, an expectant expression on the young woman's face, her cat-like eyes gleaming with a malevolence that Brenda had not felt possible.

Suddenly, without warning, Brenda felt the strap of her clog tear free. She glanced down but it was too late. The shoe skidded, taking her entire leg with it. Brenda crashed to the stage, her ankle exploding in a sharp, excruciating pain, a sickening crack being the only sound to break the hushed silence of the theater.

"Brenda!" She could faintly hear Kelly's panicked shriek as her eyelids began to close, a heavy blanket of unconsciousness overcoming her, relentlessly pulling her into a deep blackness where her ankle did not throb. Where she did not have to worry about what she would say to Kelly. Where she did not see the triumphant grin breaking out across Leiah's smug face the moment she collapsed.

**Author's Notes:**

_Before you guys start to freak out – Brenda's fine. Broken ankles heal. Oh, wait, that's probably *not* what you're freaking out about, huh? LOL Okay, yes, I paired Brenda with Colin. But honestly, I think they would be great together. At least for awhile. Yes, Dylan is the one for Brenda, but she was always drawn to the more artistic types and Colin was definitely that. He struck me as far more Brenda's type than Kelly's. Plus, now this allows me to play with another fun angle or two that I'm going to be developing in this story. Two words. Dylan. Valerie. Think about it._

_The play Brenda is in is called _John and Jen_ and was an actual off-Broadway play during the summer of 1995. I've never seen it and was hard-pressed to find information for it, but I used what I could and hope it didn't feel too off to you. Also, I've never been to New York so I had to use the internet and mapquest to help me get locations and such right. I'll be soooo happy when we get back to the west coast! Only a couple more chapters. LOL_

_Anyway, if you liked it – and even if you didn't – please take the time to leave me a review. It makes me feel so special. ;)_


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Notes:**

_Hey guys! I know it's been forever since I've updated. I'm really sorry. I've been distracted by several other side projects that have been a major time suck. I'm trying to get better, though, and I have the next several chapters outlined (at least in my head!) so they hopefully won't take so long for me to get posted. _

**.**

**.~.*.~.**

**Chapter Five**

**.~.*.~.**

**.**

Brenda heaved a long, weary sigh as she gazed up at the mesmerizing painting that hung on the living room wall of Colin's New York City loft. It was a truly amazing piece of art, probably one of Colin's best, but even the vivid purple and verdant green hues could not help lift Brenda's spirits. It only dispirited her more that she was finally seeing Colin's spectacular apartment but couldn't go past the living room and bathroom.

It had been three days since Brenda had shattered her ankle onstage during her performance, and even though the theater company was performing an "internal investigation" as to how the strap of Brenda's shoe had mysteriously been cut, the part of Jen had been passed to Leiah, just as Brenda was sure the conniving bitch had planned. There was absolutely no doubt in Brenda's mind that Leiah had been the one to sabotage her. There just wasn't anything she could do about it.

"This sucks." Kelly's groan interrupted Brenda's disparaging thoughts.

She shifted her gaze away from Colin's painting to where Kelly lay on his other couch, positioned cattycorner to the one Brenda currently occupied. The pretty blonde was gazing at her own swollen and purple ankle, her bandaging currently lying carelessly on the floor next to the sofa, an irritated and pained expression marring her otherwise near-perfect good-looks.

"Yeah." Brenda easily agreed, leaning her head back against the armrest, closing her eyes so she didn't have to stare at the same wall any longer.

"Explain to me again how we both ended up like this, Bren?" Kelly muttered darkly.

"I don't know what _you're _complaining about, Kelly." Brenda shot back with a little more heat and irritation than she had originally intended. Pain had a way of putting her in a bad mood. "You only have a second-degree sprain. _I'm _the one with the fracture that is going to require surgery."

"Yeah, well, you're also the one with the Vicodin." Kelly retorted. "All they gave me was some stupid Tylenol with Codeine. As if that's supposed to help me at all. Now I'm sleepy, still and pain, and grump because I hurt so bad I can't fall asleep. It's not fair."

"Believe me. I'd trade you my fracture for your sprain any day." Brenda returned as she gazed at her own ankle darkly. "There's a big difference between being out for four to six weeks and six to eight weeks. A sprain would mean I'd still be able to keep the role of Jen, not see it handed over to some vicious, back-stabbing bitch."

"I know." Kelly murmured softly and Brenda could tell by the light in the blonde's deep blue eyes that Kelly was genuinely sympathetic. "You were so amazing up there. I kept watching you wondering what had happened to the Brenda Walsh I had known in high school. You were always great, but now you are truly something else."

Brenda felt her cheeks flush with pleasure at Kelly's praise, only slightly annoyed that what Kelly thought still meant so much to her. "Thanks." Brenda mumbled, shifting her gaze away from the girl Brenda had once naively believed would be her best friend for life.

"What are you going to do now?" Kelly inquired, hesitating for a second as she stared at Brenda's ankle. "I mean, after your leg is better."

Brenda closed her eyes, trying to fight back the wave of depression and hopelessness that threatened to sweep over her, triggered by Kelly's innocent question. Kelly didn't know what Brenda had given up to be a part of _John and Jen_. No one did.

"I honestly don't know." She admitted at last, reopening her eyes and brushing away the tears that had begun to form in the corner of her eyes. "I haven't made enough of a name for myself yet on Broadway to be able to get something right away. Not without an incredible amount of luck."

"What about London? Could you return there?"

Brenda shook her head. "No." Came her choked response. "I pretty much burned that bridge when I came to New York."

"How so?"

"The Royale Academy is pretty much impossible to get in to." Brenda admitted, running her fingers through her chin-length bob. "Parents practically have to put their children on the waiting list the day they're born. Roy Randolph had some special pull there, though, and somehow he managed to get me accepted."

"Oh wow. I had no idea."

"Neither did I." Brenda made a face. "I was given the opportunity of a lifetime and I totally took it for granted. When I auditioned for the role of Jen, one of my professors warned me that if I dropped out, the chances of me ever being able to return were less than nil. But silly me… Thought I'd be such a huge hit, I'd have no reason to come back."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be." Brenda pursed her lips together in a tight line. "I'm not. Feeling sorry for myself isn't going to get me anywhere. I've got to figure out what I'm going to do."

"You could always come back to Beverly Hills with me." Kelly suggested.

"Yeah, right. And step back into Brandon's shadow after living in the limelight? I don't think so." Brenda shook her head dramatically then added. "Besides, aren't you here for the rest of the summer doing your modeling gig?"

Kelly's face fell and suddenly Brenda recalled a phone call the blonde had gotten the day before that her friend had not seemed too happy about. Brenda had been so out of it, though, that she hadn't thought to ask about it.

"What's wrong, Kel? What happened?"

"Brenda," Kelly began slowly, staring at Brenda with a slightly perplexed expression. "Why do you think I've been crashing on Colin's couch with you? The agency dropped me faster than a hot potato. I have until the end of the week to get the rest of the flat."

"What? But why?" Brenda stared at Kelly in shock.

"Well, to quote my agent, forgive me, my _former _agent, she doesn't 'have room for cripples.' Though honestly, I think she's been looking for an excuse to drop me." Kelly grimaced. "Her first words to me when she finally met me in person were something along the lines of me looking taller in my photographs."

"That's awful, Kelly. I'm pretty sure you could sue her for that, though. Don't you have some sort of contract?"

"Now you're sounding like Steve." Kelly chuckled. "Honestly, at first I was pretty upset about it, but not anymore. I've never really wanted to model. I was just doing it for my mom and because Steve had gone to such lengths to get me this opportunity... I thought I'd give it the ol' college try. Obviously, things didn't work out. And all because I was in too much of a hurry to fix the straps on my shoes... How could I have been so stupid?"

Brenda nodded, chewing on her lower lip thoughtfully. When she had awoken in the emergency room after her injury, she had been shocked when Colin informed her that Kelly was in the next room over, having hurt her ankle as well. According to Colin, when Brenda had fallen on the stage, Kelly had leaped to her feet as if she were going to try and rush to Brenda's side. Unfortunately, Kelly had chosen to wear a pair of excessively high heels and had not bothered to strap them properly, resulting in a rather disastrous accident, a severely sprained ankle, and a trip to the emergency room.

"Anyway," Kelly continued, running her fingers through her shoulder-length blonde hair. "I realize I can't live off from your boyfriend's generosity any longer and I need to pack my bags and head back to Beverly Hills. In fact, Colin told me he'd stop off at my old flat to pick up my things on his way back from the gallery. One of the few friends I made there already boxed them up for me."

"Wow." Brenda shook her head in amazement. She must have been more out of it than she thought. She had been vaguely aware of Kelly making some phone calls and having a conversation or two with Colin, but everything since the accident had been a bit of a blur. It was only this afternoon that she finally felt like she could focus on something besides the pain – and that was mostly because her Vicodin was beginning to wear off.

"I'm thinking of flying out Friday. I figure by then I should be stable enough on my ankle that I'll be okay on the airplane." Kelly summed up. "You should really think about coming back too. It won't be like it was before."

"And what is that?" Brenda gave a humorless chuckle. "Because Brandon's now been student body president and I'm a failed _off_-Broadway actress?"

"Bren, you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. I only got to see half of your play and I thought your performance was stunning." Kelly paused, glancing down at her hands in her lap. "Besides, you really shouldn't compare yourself to Brandon. Brandon is pretty great, but no one is perfect."

Brenda sighed deeply. Kelly couldn't possibly understand the strange rivalry and friendship she had with her twin. Kelly was an only child and never had to live with being constantly compared to a seemingly perfect sibling. Brenda adored her slightly-older brother, but at the same time she resented him. Why was it that he always succeeded in whatever he did? Why couldn't he ever be brought down just a notch, brought down to _her_ level. Maybe then Jim and Cindy might look at her with the same glowing admiration they held for Brandon.

"Why do you want me to go back to Beverly Hills so bad?" Brenda asked suddenly, trying to shift the conversation away from the sore subject of Brandon.

Kelly stared at Brenda, her lips creeping up in a slight smile. "Besides missing my best friend?" She inquired and Brenda felt a weird feeling, hearing Kelly refer to her as her best friend once again.

"Yeah, besides missing me." Brenda replied a bit brusquely.

"Because," Kelly met Brenda square in the eye, "Beverly Hills is your home, Brenda. It's where you belong. I know things got awkward for you when Dylan and I began dating, and I'm really sorry about that. It should never have been that way. I've always blamed myself for you leaving California. Maybe if you came back I'd someday stop hating myself for it."

"Kelly, you weren't the reason I left Beverly Hills. I left to find myself. To find who I really was without my parents and my brother breathing down my neck." Brenda paused, glancing away, unable to meet Kelly's eyes any longer. "I wanted to see if I could finally forget about Dylan."

"And have you?"

Brenda frowned. Kelly was really the last person she wanted to discuss her feelings for Dylan with. Yet, she was also probably the only person that could actually understand them. At least somewhat.

"I don't think I'll ever be able to forget about Dylan." Brenda admitted softly. "Get over, maybe. Move on, definitely. Forget, never. He'll always have a piece of my heart."

"First loves have a way of doing that." Kelly commented. "Bren, I know I've never really told you how sorry I was for coming between you and Dylan. I never meant to steal him from you. Well, actually, I guess I should say I never realized I _could_ actually steal him."

Brenda cracked a smile, shaking her head. Even a year ago, Brenda would have probably snapped at Kelly, refused the blonde's apology. But being in London had changed her, made her realize quite a few things. Primary among those being that her loosing Dylan to Kelly wasn't entirely Kelly's fault. It wasn't even mainly Kelly's fault.

"You didn't 'steal' Dylan from me, Kelly." Brenda began carefully. "He's not like a handbag that can be stolen away. And I never really saw him being dragged away, kicking and screaming… Dylan was never really mine to begin with. He's a free spirit that I don't think could commit to any one person even if he tried. I was lucky. He was faithful to me for what, nearly two years? But our relationship was too much for him. Honestly, it was too much for me too."

"Your relationship was amazing, Brenda. I saw how Dylan was with you and I was so jealous. I had never seen a guy actually care for a girl like that before. At least not after he had already had sex with her. You two were the real deal and I desperately wanted that too. I was just stupid and thought Dylan might love me a fraction as much as he loved you. I don't know why. He never loved anyone like you before you and definitely not after. Not even me."

"Well, I'd be lying if I didn't feel at least a little bit vindicated when I realized you two weren't exactly getting along very well." Brenda twisted her lips up in a small smile. "But I am sorry things didn't work out between you two. Kinda."

"I'm not."

"You're not?"

Kelly shook her head, a sad smile on her lips. "If things had worked out between Dylan and I, I would have never been with Brandon. Even though we're no longer together, and I doubt we'll ever be together again, the year I spent with him was probably the best of my entire life. Despite all our problems."

"I don't get it, Kelly. If you love Brandon so much, why were you even considering going with Dylan on his trip? Your choice should have been simple."

"At face value, it was. But it really wasn't." Kelly chuckled humorlessly. "I wanted to tell Brandon yes, despite the fact that I don't think he or I are ready for marriage. And despite the fact that I thought he was only proposing to me to one-up Dylan. But I couldn't."

"Why not?"

"Remember when we forced Dylan to make a choice between the two of us?"

"How could I forget?" Brenda remarked, shaking her head. They had been such naive little girls. They should never have given a man control of their happiness.

"Yeah, no kidding. Well," Kelly continued, letting out a heavy sigh. "I couldn't help thinking about that when I was trying to figure out how to tell Dylan there was no one I wanted to be with but Brandon. You and I were close back in high school, but let's be honest, we never had the bond that Brandon and Dylan had."

"I remember how devastated you were when Dylan chose me." Kelly paused, shooting Brenda an apologetic glance. "And it nearly destroyed our friendship. I didn't want to see my choice destroy the friendship Dylan and Brandon share. I think your brother would have been able to bounce back, but Dylan…" Kelly trailed off, obviously troubled about something.

"You don't think Dylan would have survived the loss of Brandon?" Brenda supplied.

Kelly shook her head. "No. No, I don't. He had already lost you. He couldn't loose the closest thing he had to a brother as well. Me, I knew he could get over. But I'd hate to think what he would have done if he thought I had chosen Brandon over him."

"But does he know that?" Brenda pressed, trying to piece together the few sketchy details she had gotten through her various friends on what had gone down in Beverly Hills a few short months ago.

"Well, yeah. He'd have to know. Wouldn't he?" Kelly frowned. "I didn't really see him a whole lot before I left, but I sort of stuck close to the beach apartment after the whole fiasco."

"You were avoiding Dylan?"

"Both of them." Kelly responded grimly.

"Kel, you do realize that _no one_ has seen Dylan since you told him you wouldn't go on his trip with him, right?"

"What?" Kelly's eyes widened in alarm.

"No one has seen him." Brenda replied. "At least not Donna, Nat, or Valerie. I could understand Dylan avoiding Donna and Valerie, but you know that boy can't stay away from the Pit for more than a day or two in a row."

Kelly's face began to drain from all color and Brenda could tell the blonde was immediately thinking the worst case scenario. Kelly closed her eyes, pursing her lips together in an almost frantic gesture.

"He left first." Kelly began slowly. "I told him I wouldn't go on his trip with him and he left… He never heard me tell Brandon no."

"So he probably thinks you told Brandon yes."

Kelly nodded. "It would make sense. And if he wasn't around Beverly Hills, no one would have been able to tell him otherwise. He thinks I told Brandon yes and then he left. God only knows where he went."

"Baja?"

"I hope not." Kelly's eyes began to fill with tears. "That's not exactly the healthiest place for him to be. Especially considering what he's been through the past year."

Brenda nodded, sharing Kelly's concern.

"Brandon." Kelly stated simply, raw pain shining brightly in her eyes. "Have you talked to your brother at all since we, uh, broke up."

Brenda shook her head. "No. Not really. He's left me a message or two. But when I moved to London, we stopped talking like we used to."

"Oh."

"Kel, if you miss him this much, why don't you try calling him? Tell him you made a mistake and that you want to be with him and only him."

"I tried." Kelly said with a rueful smile. "In Palm Springs. Or at least that had been my intent but he went off on me. We got in a big fight and it took me a little while to cool down. But by the time I felt like I could actually talk to him without exploding myself, it was too late. He was gone."

"I'm sorry."

"I am too."

"Maybe spending the summer apart will be good for you guys." Brenda suggested, though even she couldn't believe her own words. In her meager dating experience, prolonged absences from one another usually made the heart wander, not grow fonder.

"Let's not kid ourselves, Bren." Kelly shook her head. "Your brother is a great guy, for the most part, but he's still a guy."

"Who's still a guy?"

Both Brenda and Kelly's heads shot up at the sound of Colin's voice. The young artist had just entered the apartment, carrying a small suitcase under one arm and pulling along a much larger one behind him.

"Colin. Hey." Brenda smiled at her boyfriend, her heart flip-flopping wildly in her chest as he smiled back. There was just something about the way the corners of his mouth crooked up when he looked at her that turned her knees to jello and made her very thankful she was already lying down.

"Hi, Colin!" Kelly greeted Colin as she struggled to adjust herself into a more upright position. "Is that my stuff?"

"Sure is." Colin confirmed. "There's another suitcase and two boxes downstairs in my car. One of your flat mates helped me get all your stuff together. Hope nothing's missing."

"Thank you, Colin. I really appreciate it."

"Think nothing of it." Colin reassured her, shooting a warm glance in Brenda's direction. "Anything for a friend of Brenda's…"

Brenda felt her heart give as she locked gazes with Colin. An overwhelming desire to be alone with him washed over her and she felt herself begin to grow warm. She knew she hadn't known Colin very long at all, and only time was a true judge of character, but she recognized these symptoms well. She was falling for him. Hard. She just hoped she could slow herself down, at least a little bit, before it was too late.

**Author's Notes:**

_So originally this was supposed to be three short chapters wrapped into one – a Brenda/Kelly part, a Brandon part, and a Dylan part. But obviously the Brenda/Kelly part grew into a beast all of its own and rather than hold that part hostage while I hammered out the Brandon and Dylan parts, I figured I'd post it. Hope you guys don't mind. _

_Now, I'm sure some of you are probably fairly steamed that Brenda is so blissfully happy with Colin. What can I say, I'm sorry? I'm still a Brenda/Dylan fan. I just hate thinking about Brenda sitting around pining away for him when that was the last thing he was doing. Oh, and for those of you who wanted Dylan to show up on Brenda's doorstep rather than Hawaii (I know this comment is a couple of chapters late), but I couldn't do that. I HATE it when characters roll out of one person's bed and straight into the next. Though I loved Brandon and Kelly finally hooking up, it bothered me in the series when Kelly went straight to him after breaking up with Dylan. And I wasn't about to have Dylan do that with Brenda. Bren deserves better._

_Anyway… I'll shut up now and try and get some Brandon stuff written. Or Dylan. Though both parts are probably going to be shortish… (yeah… right…)_


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